Jamie Lee Boards a Terror Train; The Animals Have Their Day

Jamie Lee Curtis.

Terror Train (1980).  When a cruel college prank goes awry, its victim, Kenny, seemingly has a nervous breakdown. Three years later, the prank's perpetrators have become senior pre-med students, one of whom has hired a steam-driven train for a masquerade party. After almost everyone has boarded the train, a student named Ed is secretly murdered. The killer rolls the corpse under the caboose and dons the disguise—a Groucho Marx mask—worn by Ed. Thus, all the party attendees think that “Groucho” is Ed…and not a revenge-minded homicidal psycho.

The killer in disguise.

The Canadian-made Terror Train was one of the first slasher films made in the wake of Halloween’s box office success. Helmed by veteran Roger Spottiswoode, it’s an efficient thriller that generates a reasonable amount of tension. A key plot point has the killer donning the disguise of his latest victim. It also features an effective twist at the climax, which—while not original—nevertheless comes across as a mild surprise.

In her third "slasher film", following Halloween (1978) and Prom Night (1979), Jamie Lee Curtis stars as a surprisingly tough heroine. Her character may regret her role in the ill-fated prank and even feel sympathy towards Kenny, but she's willing to take on the killer at the end. The supporting cast is stronger than usual for this type of film with Ben Johnson as the train conductor, Hart Bochner as a manipulative student, and David Copperfield in his only dramatic role as...a magician. If actress D.D. Winters looks familiar, that's because she became Prince's protégé Vanity.

Terror Train isn't an undiscovered gem. It's an average thriller made on a modest budget, but by people that know how to make this sort of thing.

Christopher George as Steve.

Day of the Animals (1977). When the Earth's ozone layer starts depleting, it has an inexplicable effect on both domestic and wild animals living in high altitudes. It transforms them into bloodthirsty killers!

That's bad news for a group of vacationers participating in a two-week wilderness trek through the mountains led by guides Steve (Christopher George) and Daniel (Michael Ansara). After the group fends off an attack by a single wolf, it begins to splinter. Matters get worse when one of the hikers, a bigoted executive (Leslie Nielsen) with a huge ego, convinces some of the group to follow him instead of Steve. Pretty soon, the humans are fighting for their lives as they face mountain lions, bears, birds, snakes, wild dogs--and each other.

Leslie Nielsen.

Made two years after Jaws (1975), Day of the Animals is often mentioned with other ecologically-themed films where Mother Nature rebels against humans (e.g., Grizzly, Frogs, Food of the Gods, The Pack, etc.). That's a shame, because it's better than those drive-in efforts; indeed, for most of its running time, Day of the Animals is a tidy suspense film with solid acting. 

Unfortunately, it starts to unravel when Leslie Nielsen's bizarre executive strips off his shirt and starts acting like a mad man. Sure, Nielsen has a field day overacting and spouts some memorable dialogue (to a young boy: "You little cockroach! You gonna tell me about survival?"). However, his performance ruins the second half of the movie (for a more serious take on a similar character, see Sands of the Kalahari).

Lynda Day George and hair.

The rest of the cast acquit themselves satisfactorily and it's fun to see: Lynda Day George (Chris's wife) as a reporter whose blonde hair always looks perfectly coiffed; Ruth Roman as an overbearing mother; Richard Jaeckel as a well-meaning professor; Paul Mantee (Robinson Crusoe on Mars) as a former football player; and a young Andrew Stevens.

The animals prove to be adequate thespians, too, especially the bear and a pack of wild dogs that attack near the climax. The latter scene does leave one with a lingering question: Why are all the wild dogs in the pack German Shepherds?

Walt Disney's The Swamp Fox

Leslie Nielsen as Swamp Fox.

During its first decade, Walt Disney's television series featured several action-packed episodes about historic American heroes. The most famous example is Davy Crockett, who was played by Fess Parker in five episodes that aired between 1954 and 1955. Its immense popularity led to shows about Texas John Slaughter (a Texas Ranger), Mexican gunfighter and lawyer Elfego Baca, and Francis Marion, the subject of today's review.

Marion served as a lieutenant colonel in the Continental Army during the American Revolution. After the British laid siege to Charleston in 1780, Marion organized a militia that conducted guerrilla-like raids on larger British forces. Marion's ability to evade capture was party due to his knowledge of the South Carolina swamps. That earned him the nickname of The Swamp Fox.

Leslie Nielsen starred as Francis Marion in eight episodes of The Swamp Fox, which aired as part of Walt Disney Presents between 1959 and 1961. In "The Birth of the Swamp Fox," Marion escorts the South Carolina governor and his family to safety after the British invade Charleston. When Marion returns to his home, he learns that a bounty has been placed on his head. He seeks refuge on Snow Island, where he periodically summons other American loyalists to conduct raids on the British Army to free prisoners, steal supplies, etc. 

Joy Page as Mary.

The key members of the Swamp Fox's unit are: his right-hand man, Major Peter Horry (Myron Healey), his brother Gabriel Marion (Dick Foran), Sergeant Jasper (Richard Erdman), and occasionally Oscar (Smoki Whitfield) and young Gabe (Tim Considine). Marion--or Fran as friends call him--is engaged to Mary Videau (Joy Page), whose parents as Tory sympathizers. Mary uses her access to British Army officers to spy for Fran and pass along tactical information.

There's a whole lot of fighting in The Swamp Fox, though there's also time to sit around the campfire and sing songs such as this one:

Swamp Fox, Swamp Fox, tail on his hat 

Nobody knows where the Swamp Fox is at 

Swamp Fox, Swamp Fox, hiding in the glen 

He runs away to fight again

There's no doubt that Walt Disney was hoping that The Swamp Fox would enjoy popularity on the scale of Fess Parker's Davy Crockett. It's colorful, has a somewhat catchy tune, and Leslie Nielsen wears a three-cornered hat with a fox tail. However, The Swamp Fox never captures the Crockett magic. Part of the problem lies with Leslie Nielsen's performance in the title role. He's competent and makes a believable hero, but he lacks the easygoing charm and sincerity that made Fess Parker a TV star. He also lacks a sidekick as entertaining as Buddy Ebsen.

To its credit, The Swamp Fox features a strong heroine with Mary Videau. She may not have a lot of scenes, but her courage speaks for itself (hey, spies were hanged!). It also provides Smoki Whitfield with the opportunity to sing a few songs.

Incidentally, the character of Benjamin Martin, played by Mel Gibson in the 2000 movie The Patriot, was partially based on Francis Marion. Too bad Mel didn't wear a fox tail in his hat--I thought that was a stylish look.

The Case of the Unlikeliest Charlie Chan

Ross Martin as Charlie Chan.

Mystery TV series were on the rise again in 1970 with NBC preparing to launch its NBC Mystery Movie franchise. That umbrella series would feature sleuths who were rumpled and sly (Columbo), married to mischievous spouses (McMillan & Wife), and transported from the West to the East (McCloud). All of which may explain why NBC was interested in a potential TV series about an Asian American police detective--and a famous one at that.

Produced in 1970, the made-for-TV movie The Return of Charlie Chan (aka Happiness Is a Warm Clue) was intended to introduce Earl Derr Biggers' venerable detective to a new generation. However, it appears to have encountered trouble from the outset with the unlikely casting of Ross Martin in the title role. The actor had amassed a reasonable amount of popularity as Robert Conrad's sidekick (and master of disguises) Artemus Gordon in The Wild Wild West (1965-69). He seemed poised for a series of his own.

It wasn't the first time a non-Asian actor had played Charlie Chan. Warner Oland, arguably the screen's most well-known Chan, was born in Sweden and moved to the U.S. as a teenager. However, Oland's films were made in a different era. There's no evidence that NBC shelved The Return of Charlie Chan due to concerns over a casting backlash. However, the network did promote the film in 1971 and then mysteriously decided not to broadcast it. It was eventually shown in Great Britain in 1973, but didn't make its U.S. premiere until 1979.

Suspect Richard Haydn and Martin.

For the record, Ross Martin isn't a bad Charlie Chan once one realizes he's not playing Artemus in another disguise. And The Return of Charlie Chan is a decent mystery about a Greek business tycoon, married to a younger woman, who narrowly survives a murder attempt. (I'm assuming any resemblance to Aristotle Onassis was intentional!) He convinces the "incorruptible, infallible, and unfortunately retired" Charlie Chan to take on the task of protecting him during his family's pleasure cruise off the coast of Vancouver. Charlie, accompanied by his daughter Doreen and No. 8 son Peter, makes little headway toward unmasking the culprit...until one of the tycoon's employees is found murdered in his stateroom.

There is no shortage of suspects, to include a physician, a winegrower, and an international playboy who may be a thief. All of their alibis eventually crumple under the power of Charlie's deductive reasoning, which still seems sharp despite ten years as a pineapple farmer. And, yes, Mr. Chan still offers wise sayings, such as: "Even a hair casts a shadow."

Leslie Nielsen as a Greek tycoon.

The film's "special guest star" is Leslie Nielsen, who has a grand time overplaying the role of the "richest man in the world." It's interesting that most people today think of Nielsen as a comedian because of his success in Airplane! and The Naked Gun  movies. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, he was one of the busiest actors on television and in films. He played everything from a police detective in The Bold Ones to the captain in The Poseidon Adventure to the voice of a powerful, but never seen, movie executive in the TV series Bracken's World.

Ross Martin never got his own TV series, though he remained in demand as an actor in the 1970s. He guest-starred on shows like The Love Boat, Hawaii Five-O, and Vega$. He provided voices for several cartoon series and even reprised Artemus Gordon for two made-for-TV movies. Ross Martin died in 1981 after suffering a heart attack following a game of tennis.

DVD Spotlight on "The Bold Ones: The Protectors"

Originally broadcast in 1969-70 as part of the umbrella TV series The Bold Ones, The Protectors made its long-awaited DVD debut last week courtesy of Timeless Media. The DVD set includes the pilot film Deadlock plus all six episodes that rotated with The New Doctors and The New Lawyers during the first season of The Bold Ones.

Deadlock, shown as a 1969 NBC made-for-TV movie, introduces the two protagonists: ambitious African-American district attorney Leslie Washburn (Hari Rhodes) and hard-nosed police lieutenant Sam Danforth (Leslie Nielsen). Racial tensions are running high in San Sebastian, a West Coast metropolis, after a white newspaper reporter is murdered in possible retaliation for a black youth killed by a cop. Washburn, who is running for the Senate, is tagged to head a special task force to investigate the journalist's death. That pairs him with Danforth and their strong personalities clash immediately.

Hari Rhodes as D.A. Washburn.

Deadlock is more social drama than mystery. Washburn, whose primary focus is to prevent a race riot, tries to enlist the aid of influential black activists. They think Washburn wants to "put a lid on the brothers and sisters" and question the affluent attorney's motives, telling him: "You think white. You look white. You dress white."

Meanwhile, Danforth has little success with the investigation, since none of the ghetto eyewitnesses are willing to talk with the police. (His inquiries do lead to one of the film's best scenes, with the marvelous Ruby Dee playing a prostitute who uses Danforth's presence to frighten away children spying on her.)

Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Danforth.

Although Deadlock could have benefited from tighter pacing, it's still an engrossing urban drama. Its plot parallels with recent events in the U.S. adding unexpected relevance. Nielsen and Rhodes are convincing as the leads. The latter is particularly effective in the kind of role that Sidney Poitier would have played if Deadlock had been a theatrical film.

Film buffs will no doubt appreciate the impressive visuals which bring the city to life, especially at night. This was one of the earliest films credited to cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond, who would later gain prominence for his collaborations with directors such as Robert Altman, Steven Spielberg, and Brian De Palma. In a 2012 survey by the International Cinematographers Guild, Zsigmond was ranked among the ten all-time most influential cinematographers.

The Protectors TV series--which premiered in the fall of 1969--carried over the pilot film's strongest attributes, namely the actors and the emphasis on societal themes. Episodes dealt with corruption within city hall and the police department as well as the church's right to harbor a wanted fugitive. Attorney Washburn and detective Danforth (who has been promoted to deputy chief of police) remain at odds occasionally, but their mutual respect has evolved into a friendship.

Guest star Robert Drivas.

One of the best episodes, "If I Should Wake Before I Die," deals with a death-row inmate who gets a second trial when a law is changed by a Supreme Court ruling. Guest star Robert Drivas (Cool Hand Luke) gives a chilling performance as the charismatic convicted murderer who has penned a best-selling autobiography. Until the climax, one is never sure if he's an innocent victim of circumstantial evidence, a guilty man who has repented, or a master manipulator that masks the face of a heartless killer.

The Protectors rotated with the The New Doctors and The Lawyers during the first season of The Bold Ones. It was replaced by a better show, The Senator starring Hal Holbrook, the following year. The inability of The Protectors to find a viewing audience can be attributed, in part, to its sporadic scheduling and lack of episodes. Only six episodes were produced and there were occasions when it wasn't on NBC's schedule for a full month.

Rhodes and Nielsen.

The two stars remained in demand after its cancellation, especially Nielsen. He found his greatest fame as a comedian, spoofing police detectives like Danforth, in the Police Squad! TV series and Naked Gun movies. Hari Rhodes, who had previously starred with Marshall Thompson on the Daktari TV series, later appeared in Roots and theatrical films like Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972).

The DVD set from Timeless Media includes Deadlock and all six episodes of the TV series on two discs. There are no extras. There's a disclaimer that the DVDs were mastered from the best sources available. Given the rarity of these prints, some scratches are to be expected. Overall, the image quality is fine.

Timeless Media provided a review copy of this DVD set.

A Mysterious Killer Stalks Turn-of-the-Century San Francisco in "Dark Intruder"

I first read about Dark Intruder in Leonard Maltin’s TV Movies when I was around 12. Leonard described it as a “one-of-a-kind” supernatural thriller, which intrigued me to no end. Little did I know that it would take 33 years for me to finally catch up with Dark Intruder. After all that time, I was frankly prepared for a letdown. But, to my delight, I found this offbeat mystery to be quite entertaining, though not fully deserving of Leonard’s lavish praise.

Set in 1890, Dark Intruder opens with a woman being slain on the foggy streets of San Francisco. Her murder turns out to be one in a series of killings that have baffled the police. The case has also caught the eye of Brett Kingsford (Leslie Nielsen), a “chronic dabbler” who had aided the authorities in previous cases. Brett, a rich dapper gentleman with an eye for the ladies, has developed an interest in the occult. His family’s crest reads: “Omnia Exeunt in Mysterium”…or “Everything ends in mystery.”

As Brett delves into the case, he learns that the killings are ritualistic ones tied to a Sumerian god representing the essence of evil. To give away any more of the surprisingly complex (and, at times Lovecraftian) plot would be to spoil the fun.

Dark Intruder was originally made for television and intended as the pilot for a prospective TV series called Dark Cloak. However, it was released to theaters instead and a television series never materialized. One suspects that the tale was a little too gruesome for network television in the 1960s. It may also be that Nielsen, though he tries hard, was a little lightweight to to take on the role on a weekly basis.

The supporting cast, with the exception of Judi Meredith (irritating as the female lead), delivers sharp performances. Charles Bolender stands out as Nikola, Brett’s reliable dwarf assistant. Mark Richman (sometimes billed as Peter Mark Richman), who had a long successful career in television, co-starred with Nielsen again in 1991's The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear.

I suspect that Dark Intruder would have faded quickly a TV series. Its formula could have grown stale on a weekly basis, as it did for The Night Stalker in the 1970s. But, as a limited film series, it could have been most diverting as evidenced by this closing exchange:

BRETT: Ah, Nicola, if only the rest of the world knew what we know.

NICOLA: If they did, sir, nobody would get a decent night’s sleep.

"Police Squad!"... Making Our Streets Safer (and Also Very Funny)

In 1988, comedy writers Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker and David Zucker scored a hit with The Naked Gun. But, as the film’s subtitle, From the Files of Police Squad!, suggests, the movie is actually a big screen version of a short-lived comedy show. Police Squad!, first broadcast in 1982, was placed on hiatus after just four episodes. The last two episodes were shown a few months later, and the series was canceled.

Police Squad! follows -- as he introduces himself in the pilot -- Sergeant Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad, a special detail of the police department. (Drebin’s rank varies from episode to episode, as he sometimes calls himself Detective Drebin or Lt. Drebin.) Each week, Drebin would tackle a new case, sometimes going undercover, with the help of his boss/partner, Capt. Ed Hocken (Alan North) and Officer Norberg (a surprisingly funny Peter Lupus, who played Willy on the popular show, Mission: Impossible). Drebin is also assisted by Ted Olson (Ed Williams), the department’s lab scientist; Johnny (William Duell), the shoeshiner who provides information for cash; and an officer known simply as Al (“Tiny Ron” Taylor).

One of the many reasons this show works so well is its dedication to formula. Formula, if managed properly, can be an effective tool, especially in comedy. The first film written by Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker, The Kentucky Fried Movie, which was named after their theater group, Kentucky Fried Theater, and directed by John Landis, was essentially a series of sketches. It includes an assortment of parodies of commercials and news shows, with the “main attraction” being the film, A Fistful of Yen, a humorous take on Bruce Lee and Enter the Dragon (1973). The troupe’s style of comedy is not slapstickish, but rather broad absurdist humor full of non-sequiturs (irrelevant and illogical dialogue or action), visual gags, and wordplay (a running gag in Police Squad! is Detective Drebin offering people a smoke, asking, “Cigarette?” with a typical response of, “Yes, I know,” as if he were simply confirming that he has a cigarette).

Taking that brand of humor and inserting it into a formulaic police show, complete with a straight-faced protagonist, truly makes the comedy all the more rewarding. There is a distinct difference between watching a visual gag and seeing the same gag in the background while trying to following dialogue pertaining to the main plot. One recurring joke in Police Squad! is Drebin and Hocken in the elevator discussing their ongoing investigation. Each time a person, apparently out of place (a woman in formal wear, another in a swimsuit and swimcap), steps into the elevator. But then the next floor conforms to the person (a large swimming pool for the swimmer, and a stage and awaiting audience for the other woman), who makes an exit, while splashing water or tossed roses make their way through the open doors of the elevator. The two men, of course, fail to acknowledge anything beyond their conversation.

Each episode begins with the title and announcement of the show and actors (a direct parody of the Lee Marvin police drama, M Squad), one of the actors being “Rex Hamilton” as Abraham Lincoln, who never makes an appearance. Each week, there would be a special guest star, who would be killed during the opening credits, and the title shown would differ from what the announcer calls it (e.g., the pilot’s title is displayed as “A Substantial Gift,” while the announcer says, “Tonight’s episode: ‘The Broken Promise’”). Drebin would usually knock over a trash can or mailbox when parking his car, Olson in the lab would be conducting an inappropriate experiment with a young child, Billy or Katie (such as what hanging object will fall faster, a bowling ball or a next-door neighbor), and Johnny would give incredibly detailed information that no one could possibly know (and also be seen for advice by the likes of Tommy Lasorda and Dr. Joyce Brothers). Al, as portrayed by the seven-foot tall Taylor, could only be seen from his chest down, either adorned in a silly shirt (typically related to the case) or criticized for something on his face or head (which obviously cannot be seen until it’s pointed out, like the “headgear” that isn’t “regulation,” as Al removes a sombrero).

While the series is strong throughout (with only the sixth episode, “Testimony of Evil”/“Dead Men Don’t Laugh,” directed by Joe Dante, faltering with an extended and dull lounge act from an undercover Drebin), none of the episodes match the pilot, written and directed by Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker. The comedy is delivered full tilt, and although the running time is only 25 minutes sans commercial breaks, the episode needs to be watched multiple times for a true appreciation. (I saw the series several times before realizing that, on the glass door, POLICE is correspondingly a mirror image inside the office, but SQUAD is not. And my wife pointed out that, in “Rendezvous at Big Gulch”/“Terror in the Neighborhood,” although the series is set somewhere in the U.S., the Eiffel Tower can be seen through a window.) The pilot includes one of my favorite lines of anything that Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker have done, spoken by Drebin to a victim’s widow: “We would’ve come earlier, but your husband wasn’t dead then.” Some have suggested that the series was ahead of its time, and this appears to be the case. In 1982, people were evidently not prepared for a television show that required viewers to pay scrupulous attention. But, particularly with the success of the Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker film, Airplane!, two years before, the resulting cult status of Police Squad! could likely have been forecast.

Following Top Secret! in 1984, Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker wrote (with David Zucker directing) The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! The film was very successful and spawned two sequels, The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991) and The Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult (1994). In the films, George Kennedy plays Capt. Hocken and O.J. Simpson plays a similarly-named Nordberg. Williams and Taylor reprise their TV roles, but Duell is unfortunately nowhere to be seen. The first film and the first sequel are both hilarious cinematic excursions, but the third movie, directed by Peter Segal, falls flat in many scenes. A fourth film has been rumored for the last couple of years but, as of 2010, very few details have come into fruition. Priscilla Presley is quite charming as Frank Drebin’s love interest in all three films, and Robert Goulet, who played one of the doomed “guest stars” in Police Squad!, is the villain and Drebin’s rival for Presley’s affection in The Naked Gun 2½.

Reportedly, the role of Frank Drebin on Police Squad! was specifically written for Leslie Nielsen, who’d also starred in Airplane! But it was Nielsen’s cinematic rekindling of Drebin in The Naked Gun that solidified the actor’s reputation as a comic actor. His deadpan delivery against the backdrop of absurd and ludicrous situations and settings was so beloved by audiences that Nielsen has essentially been typecast. Time and again, he is asked to play similar characters, in movies such as 1990’s Repossessed (a spoof of 1974’s The Exorcist), Spy Hard (1996), and 2001: A Space Travesty (2000). Even Mel Brooks directed one with Dracula: Dead and Loving It in 1995. In my opinion, the only one of these films worth watching is Wrongfully Accused (1998), which was written and directed by Pat Proft, who worked on Police Squad! and co-wrote all three Naked Gun movies.

After The Naked Gun, the three men who were once collectively known as the Kentucky Fried Theater seemed to part ways. Just two years later, Jerry Zucker directed the extraordinarily successful Ghost starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and an Oscar®-winning Whoopi Goldberg. His brother, David Zucker, stayed mostly in comedies, producing High School High (1996), co-writing and directing South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone in BASEketball (1998), their first film after their hit TV show, and directing the spoofs, Scary Movie 3 (2003) and Scary Movie 4 (2006). Likewise, Abrahams co-wrote (with Proft) and directed the excellent Hot Shots! (1991) and Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993), as well as helming Jane Austen’s Mafia! in 1996. He and Proft also co-wrote Scary Movie 4.

So many films of today (particularly ones starring Nielsen) attempt the type of comedy mastered by Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker, but very few (if any) have succeeded. The comedy is both frivolous and ingenious. It’s goofy fun but can only be savored with an audience on full alert, trying to see and hear every quip, every gag, every moment that makes the quick-eyed viewer laugh aloud. The three writers/directors were comedic Picassos, creating a surreal landscape that easily captures the eyes and, if stared at long enough, captures the heart as well. Police Squad! may have only lasted six episodes, but its lifespan and influence are immeasurable.