Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting...Vampires!

John Forbes-Robertson as Dracula.

I first saw The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires in a re-edited U.S. print called The Seven Brothers Meet Dracula. Let me start this review by encouraging you to never see that movie! It eliminates 14 minutes of plot and, if memory serves, still repeats a couple of scenes. Even the title change makes no sense as one of the "brothers" is a sister.

So, it was with trepidation that I watched The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) several years later. My concerns were quickly put to rest as I viewed this wacky, wildly entertaining blend of vampires and kung fu. Over the years, it has become an annual Halloween tradition for this reviewer.

The film begins in Transylvania in 1804 with a Chinese monk named Kah journeying to Castle Dracula. Kah, an evil high priest, used to rule the village of Ping Kuei with his seven Golden Vampires. However, their power is fading and Kah wants Dracula to return them to full strength. Initially, Dracula shrugs off the idea because, obviously, he gains nothing from it. However, realizing that Transylvania has been sucked dry of blood, Dracula kills Kah, assumes his form, and heads to Asia to build a new empire with the Golden Vampires.

Cushing as Van Helsing.

A century later, Hsi Ching, a young man from Ping Kuei, seeks out Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing). Hsi Ching wants the famous vampire hunter, who has been lecturing at a Chungking University, to help his fellow villagers destroy the Golden Vampires and their leader. Van Helsing agrees and sets off on a trek to Ping Kuei accompanied by his son Leyland, Hsi Ching and his siblings, and a wealthy, beautiful widow (Julie Ege) who has financed the mission. Along the way, the group is confronted by bandits, staves off a vampire attack in a cave (the film's highlight), and eventually battles the Golden Vampires and Count Dracula.

Although kung fu and vampires might seem like unlikely bedfellows, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires merges the two genres seamlessly. The film was a co-production between Hammer Films and Shaw Bros. However, it's definitely a "Hammer film" and boasts the studio's usual polish (e.g., good-looking costumes, James Bernard's music). Peter Cushing, playing Van Helsing (or a descendant) for the fifth and final time, also provides some much-needed of gravitas. 

Most of the film was directed by Hammer veteran Roy Ward Baker. However, according to Geoff Mayer's book Roy Ward Baker, Shaw Bros. executive Run Run Shaw insisted that the fight scenes be overseen by his in-house director Chang Cheh. 

David Chiang as Hsi Ching.

David Chiang, who plays Hsi Ching, was already a popular Asian star and punches and kicks with authority when it's time to pummel vampires. On the other hand, his character's romance with Julie Ege's overdressed widow never quite gels. The same can be said for Leyland Van Helsing's attraction to Hsi Ching's sister. Neither relationship has time to develop given the film's pace and 89-minute running time.

Additionally, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires requires a little suspension of belief. It's never clear why Dracula (not played by Christopher Lee) needs to assume the guise of Kah. The timeline is also out of whack with the rest of the Hammer Dracula series. If Dracula started posing as Kah in 1804 and was still doing so a century later, how could he have encountered Van Helsing in Dracula in 1885?

I suppose one needs to cast those quibbles aside and enjoy The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires for what it is: a unique, quirky mash-up of vampires and kung fu with a dash of plotting borrowed from The Seven Samurai. Now, who can refuse that?

Raquel Welch Races Around the Rink in Kansas City Bomber

Raquel Welch was at or near the peak of her career when she starred as a roller derby queen in Kansas City Bomber (1972). It's not the kind of role one would typically associate with the 1970s biggest sex symbol--but that's probably why she took it. Throughout her career, Welch sought out unexpected roles in films like Hannie Caulder (1971), The Wild Party (1975), and The Legend of Walks Far Woman (1982). Sometimes, her choices panned out (her delightful turn in The Three Musketeers) and sometimes they did not (the ill-fated Myra Breckenridge). Kansas City Bomber falls into the former category.

Welch stars as K.C. Carr, a promising roller derby player who is surprised to learn that she has been traded to the Portland Loggers. Most of her new teammates are unenthused about her arrival--especially Jackie Burdette who fears she is being replaced as the team's star. Actually, Burdette has little cause for concern, as the Loggers' owner (Kevin McCarthy) plans to sell the team and make K.C. a superstar for his new Chicago team. 

So, is Kansas City Bomber a character study? A chronicle of life on the road, in the vein of the later Slap Shot (1977)? Or a a portrait of hardcore fans obsessed with a scripted "sport"? The problem is that Kansas City Bomber is all of those things...and it's too much to pack into a 99-minute movie overstuffed with roller derby footage. 

Welch makes K.C. an fairly interesting, albeit confused, protagonist. The roller derby star wants to be a good single mother, but chooses a job that keeps her away from her family for weeks at a time. Her daughter (a young Jodie Foster) copes well enough, but her son rejects her (a subplot cast by the wayside). K.C. wants to fit in with her teammates, but starts an awkward romantic relationship with the team's owner (talk about accusations of favoritism!). She befriends a socially-challenged male player, totally misreading that he believes it's more than friendship.

K.C.'s exploits are framed against blue collar northwestern locations (much of it was filmed in Portland). Director Jerrold Freedman--who later helmed the excellent made-for-TV thriller A Cold Night's Death--captures the dingy locker rooms, the long bus rides, and the neon bars. He also paints an effective portrait of the manic fans, who spend their money to taunt the players and throw trash on the track. Though George Roy Hill covers the same ground more effectively in Slap Shot, it's worth noting that Freedman did it earlier. Indeed, Freedman's only misstep is the inclusion of too many extraneous roller derby scenes. (Ten minutes could have been easily trimmed from the 99-minute running time.)

Kansas City Bomber is not a hidden gem waiting to be discovered. It's a solid, unexceptional film that proves that Raquel Welch became a better actress as her career progressed. It's a must for Welch fans and for those who appreciate early 1970s cinema (as I do). For other viewers, there are worse ways to spend a lazy afternoon or late night.