Kapow! Batman: The Movie

The Caped Crusaders board a yacht.

Sarkoffagus, who wrote for the Classic Film & TV Cafe for its first five years, penned this special guest blogger review.

As the Cafe celebrates its 10th anniversary this month, someone else has reached a prominent anniversary in 2019. The DC Comics character, Batman, is now 80 years young. He’s been featured in numerous films, including the 1966 movie based on the TV series.

The Caped Crusaders try to rescue an inventor--and his invention--aboard a yacht. As they approach in the Batcopter, the yacht suddenly vanishes. Batman soon deduces that a sinister plot is unfolding, courtesy of not one villain, but four: the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, and Catwoman. Unfortunately, their scheme of global proportions also entails targeting Batman and Robin, to ensure the crime-fighters won’t interfere. Catwoman poses as Russian journalist, Kitka, and seduces Bruce Wayne (to draw out Batman, as the villains are unaware of the irony); and Penguin attempts to infiltrate the Batcave. All the while, Batman and Robin must thwart the nefarious plan already underway.

Bruce Wayne has dinner with...Catwoman.

This feature film, released in the summer between the TV show’s first and second seasons, retains all the colorful campiness of its television source. While some of it may seem dated, the filmmakers were undoubtedly aiming to make an entertaining romp. In one scene, Batman sprints around a dock, looking for a safe place to dispose of a bomb with a burning fuse. It’s a lengthy bit played mostly for laughs, much like the ending, in which the resolution has a surprising hitch.

Robin and Batman in the Batmobile.

The classic Batmobile makes several appearances, of course, as do the Batcopter, the Batcycle, and the shockingly fast Batboat. It’s great fun to see all four villains on the big screen, though their diabolical plot is somewhat muddled; it isn’t easy to tell if it’s all been planned, or if they’re making some of it up as they go along. Still, watching their egos clash is an interesting turn.

Catwoman, the Joker, and the Penguin plot deviously.

Everyone reprises their respective TV roles with panache, save Julie Newmar, who was unavailable to play Catwoman in the movie. Lee Meriwether does an admirable job portraying the feline villain, even if she’s not quite as charming as Newmar or as playful as Eartha Kitt, who took the Catwoman reins in Season 3.

The film makes sure to hit a few of the TV series’ trademarks: ballooned onomatopoeia in fights; the occasional moral lesson (drinking is bad); Batman’s preference for milk (this time, in a brandy snifter at a fancy restaurant); and Batman and Robin’s unhurried rope ascent.

I have enjoyed numerous portrayals of Batman throughout the years, but Adam West remains my favorite. The 1960s Batmobile is likewise my favorite version. One of my dearest memories is my brother and I, many years ago, repeatedly attempting the TV theme song. It was a horrid and cacophonous endeavor that no one in proximity appreciated, especially the hive full of bees that retaliated by stinging us without remorse.

Connie Stevens and Dean Jones Make for "Two on a Guillotine"

Connie Stevens as Cassie.

Who is the mysterious young woman at the funeral of The Great Duquesne? She could be the spitting image of the famous magician's wife Melinda, who disappeared without explanation twenty years earlier. And what's up with the casket fitted with a window and wrapped in chains?

The young woman turns out to be Duquesne's daughter Cassie, who was raised by an aunt in Wisconsin and barely knew her parents. As for the unusual casket, a newspaper headline informs us that Duquesne has vowed to return from the dead.

As if being hounded by the press wasn't bad enough, Cassie (Connie Stevens) learns of an unusual condition to her $300,000 inheritance. She must spend seven consecutive nights in her father's mansion from midnight to dawn. If she fails to do so, then the estate will be divided between Duquesne's agent Buzzy and his caretaker Dolly.

The Great Duquesne and his guillotine.

Two on a Guillotine sounds like a William Castle film and one can just imagine the kind of gimmicks that could have accompanied it. However, this easygoing 1965 thriller was helmed by William Conrad. Yes, the man who voiced Matt Dillon on radio and later played Cannon on TV also directed movies. In fact, his follow-up was another 1965 thriller, My Blood Runs Cold, which featured Connie Stevens' frequent co-star Troy Donahue.

Dean Jones as Connie's love interest.

In lieu of Troy, Connie is paired with Disney regular Dean Jones in Two on a Guillotine. The affable Jones plays a newspaper journalist who starts out to get a story on Cassie and ends up falling in love with her. He also helps her figure out the source of the midnight moans and rattling chains in the Duquesne house.

Two on a Guillotine is a genial diversion, though it's easily seventeen minutes too long (90 minutes should be the standard for teen-oriented drive-in pictures!). Also, assuming that there are no ghosts, there's a paucity of suspects trying to drive Connie out of the house (if that's the intent).

Cesar Romero as the magician.

Conrad's direction is pretty straightforward with the exception of one Hithcockian moment. As Dean leans in to kiss Connie in a loud, rock'n'roll club, the music segues to Max Steiner's lush score. Dean pulls back from the kiss to reveal that he and Connie are now alone in her father's house.

There's also a priceless instance of unintentional foreshadowing. When Dean's character wants to reassure Cassie that he's the protective type, he jokes: "I'm half Saint Bernard." Eleven years later, Dean starred in Disney's The Shaggy D.A. His character wasn't a Saint Bernard, but he could transform into a sheepdog. Now, that's spooky!

Here's a clip from Two on Guillotine, courtesy of warnerarchive.com, which you can view full-screen on the Classic Film & TV Cafe YouTube channel. (You can also stream the entire movie at Warner Archive).