Frankie and Annette as Murder Suspects? It's Burke's Law!

Could Annette be a murderer?

I've recently rediscovered Burke's Law, the 1963-65 TV series starring Gene Barry as the head of the LAPD homicide division--who also happens to be a millionaire. Last Friday, I randomly selected the episode "Who Killed the Strangler?", which opens with a wrestler (called the Strangler, of course) abruptly dropping dead in the ring.

As the camera panned the inevitable murder suspects in the crowd, a young man with glasses and a pretty brunette looked familiar. The show's title credits soon confirmed that those guest stars were indeed Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. As those of you who visit the Cafe regularly know, we love us some Beach Party movies. Thus, this episode of Burke's Law turned out to be an unexpected delight--even if it wasn't one of the series' better efforts. 

Barry as Amos Burke.

For the uninitiated, each episode of Burke's Law follows a similar structure. Typically, it begins with a homicide that interrupts Amos Burke, who almost always spends his leisure time in the company of an attractive woman. Captain Burke and his two subordinates, seasoned detective Les Hart (Regis Toomey) and the less experienced Tim Tilson (Gary Conway), then interview the suspects. These potential murderers are played by the guest stars, many of whom are veterans of classic Hollywood cinema (e.g., William Bendix, Joan Blondell, Elsa Lanchester, Dorothy Lamour, Walter Pidgeon, Ann Blyth, Jane Greer, etc.). At the climax, Amos comes to a startling conclusion that exposes the culprit. Oh, and I forgot to mention that every female in the cast swoons over Amos (to include Annette).

In addition to Frankie and Annette, "Who Killed the Strangler?" also featured Jeanne Crain (still radiant at 40), Una Merkel (who fought Marlene in Destry Rides Again), and Robert Middleton. Each guest star has about ten minutes of screen time--except for the murderer who gets unmasked in the climax (I guessed the culprit).

Annette, in fringe, with Gene Barry.

For the record, Annette plays an aspiring ballerina who moonlights as a go-go dancer because her brother, the Strangler, refused to give her any money. Beach Party fans are certain to enjoy watching Annette shake her fringe dress in the best Candy Johnson tradition (but let's admit it, Candy was in a class by herself). It's also fun listening to Annette spout "hip" dialogue about topics such as Squaresville!

Frankie looks suspicious in glasses!

Frankie doesn't fare as well as a sports journalist who uses a "method" technique (you know, like method acting) to write about horse racing, tennis, and wrestling. It may sound clever, but the idea wears thin quickly and Frankie tries too hard to make his scene funny.

Still, it's a fairly entertaining episode and par for the series. An added bonus for Beach Party fans is that Quinn O'Hara has a small role; she would go on to star in The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini. On the downside, I wish that Jeanne Crain had been given more screen time and a more interesting character.

My sister's Burke's
Law comic book.

The history of Burke's Law has always intrigued me. Playwright Frank D. Gilroy (The Subject Was Roses) created the the character of Amos Burke for the first episode of The Dick Powell Theatre in 1961. Titled "Who Killed Julie Greer?", it starred Dick Powell as the wealthy detective and featured a supporting cast comprised of Nick Adams, Ralph Bellamy, Ronald Reagan, Jack Carson, Edgar Bergen, Lloyd Bridges, Mickey Rooney, and Carolyn Jones (as the murder victim). Dean Jones and Edward Platt (Chief on Get Smart) played detectives.

Gene with Peter Barton in the
1994-95 revival.

It premiered as a regular TV series on ABC in 1963 with Gene Barry. Burke's Law was a solid ratings performer and even spun off the 1965-66 TV series Honey West; Anne Francis first appeared as Honey in the Burke's Law episode "Who Killed the Jackpot?" However, in 1965, at the height of the spy movie craze, the series was unwisely revamped as Amos Burke, Secret Agent. The new show was cancelled after 17 episodes. It went out with a bang, though, with a nifty two-parter called "Terror in a Tiny Town" which places Amos in a community filled with residents that inexplicably want to kill him.

In 1994, CBS revived Burke's Law with a new series about Amos (still played by Gene Barry) and his son Peter (Peter Barton). It maintained the lighthearted approach of the original series, but never captured much of an audience. It was cancelled after a single season.

Bikini Beach: “Where All the Chicks Are Bikini Clad”

Welcome to Bikini Beach, where the ladies adorned in bikinis are constantly distracting passing drivers, cooks, surfers and guys already spending time with girls. Frankie (Frankie Avalon), Dee Dee (Annette Funicello), and the rest of the gang are spending another summer at the beach, lying on the sand and surfing against the rear projection that is the ocean. Their fun in the sun is threatened when Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III (Keenan Wynn) arrives with his chimpanzee, Clyde (Janos Prohaska), who shows off his surfing skills to a dumbfounded crowd of teens. Honeywagon, however, is demonstrating the youngsters’ lack of intelligence, bolstered by a “preoccupation with sex,” and he follows it with a scathing article in his newspaper. The lovely Miss Clements (Martha Hyer) soon learns that Honeywagon’s true agenda is to purchase the beach property and convert it into a retirement home, Sea-Esta by the Sea.

Meanwhile, back at the beach, Frankie is in danger of losing Dee Dee to... well, himself, as the actor also portrays British rock phenomenon, The Potato Bug. The singer pitches a tent on Bikini Beach and instantly woos the girls, including Dee Dee, who is peeved by Frankie scoffing the idea of marriage. When The Potato Bug boasts of his proficiency at drag racing, Frankie believes he can regain Dee Dee’s affection by besting the British star. It literally becomes a race to the finish, while monkey wrenches are thrown into the mix: Frankie having few resources with which to purchase a race car (not to mention the inability to drive one); Clyde the chimp once again transcending humans by securing the drag racing record and out-watusi-ing everyone; and the delightful but dim Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his motorcycle gang of Ratz and Mice stirring up trouble for all.

Bikini Beach (1964) was the third in American International Pictures’ Beach Party films and was directed by William Asher, a prolific TV director and producer. Asher also directed the preceding films, Beach Party (1963) and Muscle Beach Party (1964), as well as How to Stuff a Wild Bikini and the fan favorite, Beach Blanket Bingo (both 1965). Asher’s direction works well with the slapstick comedy and frivolous (but endlessly quotable) dialogue. He does repeat some visual puns (e.g., girls causing surfers to “crash,” accompanied by sounds of vehicular collisions, from Beach Party), but there are also worthy gags such as the recurring unknown female in a bikini drawing everyone’s attention, at one point inciting the camera to turn away from the action.

While Frankie Avalon’s performance as The Potato Bug is a bit hammy, it’s also a nice change from the character of Frankie, whose cheeky attitude makes him undeserving of a lady such as Dee Dee. Potato Bug, with his moptop haircut and indistinguishable songs, is a gleeful play on The Beatles, who, in 1964, were in the midst of their British Invasion in the U.S. The only time that The Potato Bug is excessive in Bikini Beach is when Frankie impersonates the singer as a ruse. It’s Frankie playing Frankie playing Frankie, and it’s unduly metaphysical for a Beach Party film. Furthermore, Frankie is too convincing and manages to fool the typically shrewd Dee Dee.

Don Rickles plays “Big Drag,” but there’s an explicit acknowledgement that he’s the same character from Muscle Beach Party. When Big Drag is told that he looks familiar, he states that he was once called Jack Fanny and references “a string of muscle men” (“I got out of the Fanny business; that’s all behind me now”). Rickles is exceptionally funny in Bikini Beach, avoiding the mismatched stand-up routine he would perform in Beach Blanket Bingo, and dishing out amusing dialogue with charm, like when he recites a litany of problems with a race car he’s trying to sell. His response to Frankie when asked if anything is functional: “The radio’s kinda nice.”

Jody McCrea reprises his role of Deadhead in Bikini Beach. Although apparently portraying the same character, he was called Bonehead in Beach Blanket Bingo and How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (evidently Big Lunk in 1964’s Pajama Party is not the same guy). Candy Johnson also revisits her role as Candy, the “Perpetual Motion Dancer,” whose swinging hips become a viable weapon and can knock opponents to the ground. Harvey Lembeck as Eric Von Zipper makes a most welcome return in Bikini Beach, having been absent from the earlier Muscle Beach Party. He isn’t allotted time for his own song like in Beach Blanket Bingo, but he does give himself The Finger (See “F” in The Beach Party Movies: A to Z) and it’s a treat to hear his refrain, “You stupid!” and his argument favoring motorcycles over drag racing cars: “Cycles is better.”

Like most of the Beach Party films, Bikini Beach has a number of memorial tunes. Musical highlights include Donna Loren singing “Love’s a Secret Weapon”, the Frankie and Annette duo, “Because You’re You”, and “This Time It’s Love”, a solo by Annette. The film also features a performance from Little Stevie Wonder (who’d made his film debut in Muscle Beach Party) and “introduces” the short-lived surf rock group, The Pyramids.

The character of Honeywagon shares his name with the term for a mobile restroom utilized for film and TV productions. A honeywagon is a trailer housing multiple rooms for various uses. It’s more generally written as two words, and as such, a honey wagon is for transporting waste or a portable component of a sanitation system.Janos Prohaska, who portrayed Clyde, often played monsters or animals, in costumes which he designed. He typically appeared on television, such as Star Trek, as the Horta, Mugato and Yarnek, in the respective episodes, “The Devil in the Dark”, “A Private Little War” and “The Savage Curtain”. Prohaska also starred as the recurring Cookie Bear in The Andy Williams Show, as well as the TV series, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Lost in Space, Bewitched, Land of the Giants and The Outer Limits. His creature creation from the Outer Limits episode, “The Architects of Fear”, was deemed so unnerving that local stations in some cities censored or delayed the broadcast.

Bikini Beach is a commendable entry in the series of Beach Party movies. By the third film, the characters are familiar, and the Frankie-Dee Dee struggle is an anticipated theme. There’s also the prerequisite celebrity cameo, a surprise appearance near the film’s end, with a joke on a previous cameo in Beach Party. I’ll concede that Beach Blanket Bingo is the most revered of the bunch, but I quite fancy time on Bikini Beach: there’s good humor, silly characters, and Annette in a bikini. Frankie’s eyes may wander (although more so in other films, like to Luciana Paluzzi in Muscle Beach Party), but mine are completely glued.

Seven Things to Know About Frankie Avalon

1. Frankie Avalon learned to play the trumpet as a child--and was very good at it. He played trumpet for singer Al Martino (Johnny Fontane in The Godfather) when the crooner visited Philadelphia. That led to an audition for an agent and an appearance on The Jackie Gleason Show.

2. On his web site, Frankie states: "It seems like every young kid in Philadelphia wanted to be a singer. I started as a musician…a trumpet player in the beginning. But, when I picked up the paper one day and read about Jimmy Darren who was from my own neighborhood and school, making a successful career for himself, I decided that I could do it just as well."

3. Frankie dominated the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1958-60, scoring seven Top 20 hits. He reached #1 twice, first with "Venus" (his biggest hit) and then with "Why." The latter song was co-written by Avalon's manager Bob Marcucci, who also discovered Fabian. (The 1980 film The Idolmaker is supposedly based on Marcucci's career.) Frankie Avalon recorded a disco version of Venus in 1976; it reached #46 on the chart.

4. He made his feature film debut in 1960, appearing in Guns of the Timberland with Alan Ladd and in John Wayne's The Alamo. In the former film, producer Ladd even found a way to incorporate Avalon's singing talents; Frankie croons the memorably-titled "Gee Whiz Whillikins Golly Gee."

5. Yes, Frankie and Annette Funicello did date in real life--but they quickly realized they were destined to just be friends. (By the way, Annette also dated Paul Anka, who wrote the song "Puppy Love" for her.) Frankie and his wife Kathryn have been married since 1963 and have eight children.

6. In addition to the Beach Party movies, Frankie and Annette also starred in the stock car "B" picture Fireball 500 (though Fabian gets the girl!). In 1978, Frankie and Annette appeared in a TV series pilot called Frankie and Annette: The Second Time Around. Although a regular series never materialized, the duo reteamed in 1987 for the Beach Party spoof Back to the Beach.

7. These days, Frankie also sells health and food products. One can buy Zero Pain, a homeopathic cream to treat arthritis pain, on his web site and purchase Frankie Avalon Italian sausage on QVC. And at the age of 73, he is still performing concerts--with three dates on his tour schedule for November.

Embed from Getty Images Frankie Avalon in 2013.

The Beach Party Movies: A to Z

A – It’s for Annette, of course! (Though Avalon is a fine choice, too.)

B – Beach Party, the 1963 movie that started it all. Or, it can also be for Bonehead, Frankie’s dimwitted pal played by Jody McCrea (Joel’s son).

Candy Johnson.

C – Candy Johnson, the fringe-dressed dancer who shimmies through most of the closing credits.

D – Dick Dale, the “King of the Surf Guitar,” who appeared in Beach Party and Muscle Beach Party with his band The Del-Tones. Quentin Tarantino used Dale’s “Misirlou” as the theme to Pulp Fiction.

E – Eva Six, the Hungarian bombshell who tries to lure Frankie from Annette in Beach Party.

F – “The Finger,” a self-defensive maneuver, also known as the Himalayan Time Suspension Technique, employed originally by Professor Sutwell (Robert Cummings) in Beach Party. Sutwell would place his index finger on a “complex pressure point” on his opponent’s temple. The victim’s body would then go into a state of “time suspension” for several hours. The most frequent victim was Eric Von Zipper.

G – Go Go (Tommy Kirk), a Martian teen who falls in love with Connie (Annette) instead of preparing for the Mars invasion of Earth in Pajama Party.

H – Dwayne Hickman, TV’s Dobie Gillis, who wooed Annette in How to Stuff a Wild Bikini. Or, it could be Susan Hart, the beauty who starred as The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini after an earlier appearance in Pajama Party.

Harvey Lembeck as
Eric Von Zipper.

I – “I Am My Ideal” a reprise of Eric Von Zipper’s “Follow Your Leader” music number that first appeared in Beach Blanket Bingo and then How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.

J – Jack Fanny, the bodybuilding trainer played by Don Rickles in Muscle Beach Party.

K – Sugar Kane, a singer played by Linda Evans in Beach Blanket Bingo (the song vocals are by Jackie Ward). Or, it can be for Buster Keaton, who appeared in Beach Blanket Bingo, Pajama Party, and How to Stuff a Wild Bikini.

L – Lorelei (Marta Kristen), Bonehead’s mermaid girlfriend in Beach Blanket Bingo. It could also be for Donna Loren, who sings some of the best songs in the series, including “It Only Hurts When I Cry” (from Bingo).

M – Flex Martian, the bodybuilder played by Mission: Impossible's Peter Lupus (shown on right) in Muscle Beach Party. Or, it could be Dorothy Malone, the only Oscar winner in a BP movie (Beach Party).

N – The Nooney Rickett Four, an L.A. rock band that appeared in Pajama Party.

O – “O Dio Mio” a pre-Beach Party hit song for Annette.

P – The Potato Bug, a British rock singer played by Frankie Avalon in Bikini Beach (in addition to his regular role of Frankie).

Q – Quinn O’Hara, Scottish redhead who played Basil Rathbone’s homicidal daughter in The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.

R – The Ratz, the name of Eric Von Zipper’s motorcycle gang. (The female members were known as the Mice.)

South Dakota Slim.

S – South Dakota Slim (Timothy Carey), the creepy pool shark from Bikini Beach and Bingo (where he kidnaps Sugar Kane). Or, it can for Bobbi Shaw, the curvaceous blonde with a fondness for taking baths in the final four Beach Party movies.

T – Toni Basil, one of the singer-dancers in Pajama Party. In 1982, she had a No. 1 hit song with "Mickey."

U – Gary Usher, the influential 1960s composer, who wrote tunes for four Beach Party movies when not collaborating with Brian Wilson, The Byrds, and others.

V – Vivian Clements, a teacher played by Martha Hyer in Bikini Beach.

Dick Dale and Stevie Wonder.

W – Little Stevie Wonder, who performed in Muscle Beach Party and Bikini Beach.

X - Francis X. Bushman, famous silent film actor and the first star labeled "King of the Movies." He had a supporting role in The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini.

Y – “Yoots,” which is how Eric Von Zipper pronounces “youths” as in the Ratz being a bunch of “good clean American yoots.”

Z – Eric Von Zipper (a bit of cheat to make it to “Z”). Eric’s most famous quote: “I like you. And when Eric Von Zipper likes someone, they stay liked.”

Beach Party Tonight!

Frankie surfing...in front of a rear screen.

With one notable exception, 1963's Beach Party--the first entry in American-International's seven-film series--provided the blueprint for a new genre: the teen sand 'n' surf musical. It wasn't the first teen movie with surfing (see Gidget) and certainly not the first teen musical (see Rock Around the Clock and many others). However, Beach Party combined both elements into one sunny, sandy, frothy mix.

Annette--pretty in pink!

The aforementioned exception in Beach Party is the presence of adult leads Bob Cummings and Dorothy Malone. Although integrated into the plot, I think they were added to draw an older audience that this genre ultimately didn't need. American-International apparently came to the same conclusion. Starting with Muscle Beach Party, the first stars listed above the title are Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. Their popularity grew to the point where just one of the two stars was enough to attract an audience. (In contrast, the only film with neither one, The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, was the least successful entry in the series...and a bad movie, too.)

Beach Party opens with Frankie and Annette singing the catchy "Beach Party (Tonight)" as they cruise down a seaside road in Frankie's yellow jalopy, with surfboards protruding from the back. Their destination is a beachfront cabin where they will spend the summer together--although with different expectations as highlighted in this dialogue exchange:

Frankie (motioning to the cabin): There it is, Honey. It's all ours.
Dolores: Just you and me. All alone.
Frankie: Exactly.
Dolores: It's just like we were married.
Frankie: Exactly!

Thus, in the film's first scene, we learn the source of friction in the relationship between Frankie and Dolores: She wants to get married; he wants the sexual benefits of marriage without the commitment. This theme carries throughout most of the films in the series and results in each character going to extremes to make the other jealous.

Bob Cummings watching "tribal" teens.

In Beach Party, these "tribal customs" of the American teenager attract the attention of middle-aged anthropologist Robert Sutwell, who is writing a book titled The Behavior Pattern of the Young Adult and Its Relation to Primitive Tribes. His attractive assistant Marianne (Dorothy Malone) describes it more accurately as Teenage Sex. Sutwell’s plan is to observe the teenagers through his telescope and eavesdrop with his high-tech sound equipment.

Frankie gets cozy with Eva Six.

Meanwhile, Dolores confides to her friend Rhonda (Valora Noland) that she wants to be with Frankie, but take their relationship slowly. Frankie expresses his frustration to his friends, who advise him to dump Dolores. Frankie confesses that he can’t do that—because he loves her. They hatch a scheme to make Dolores jealous: When the gang goes to Big Daddy’s that night, Frankie will flirt with the voluptuous waitress Ava (Eva Six).

Everyone shows up at Big Daddy’s that evening, including Sutwell, who has decided he needs to get closer to his subjects. Unfortunately, Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck), an unpopular motorcycle gang leader, also makes an appearance. When Dolores decides to leave after watching Frankie flirt with several other girls (including Ava), Von Zipper approaches her. “Hey, baby, girls fall for Eric Von Zipper,” he tells her. “I like you and what Eric Von Zipper likes, he gets.”

Lembeck as Eric Von Zipper.

Hearing Von Zipper’s unwanted advances, Sutwell comes to Dolores’s rescue. When Von Zipper confronts him, Sutwell pushes his index finger against Von Zipper’s temple and the gang leader's body freezes immediately. Sutwell explains this is the “Himalayan time suspension technique” and that Von Zipper will be fine in a few hours. Sutwell then escorts Dolores back to her beach house, where she hatches her own scheme for making Frankie jealous.

Morey Amsterdam spouting
beatnik poetry.

It's a slight plot, but that doesn't matter, of course. If you're a fan of the Beach Party films--as I am--it's because of the casts and the music. Beach Party introduces many performers who would become regulars in the series:  the delightful Lembeck supported by Andy Romano as his crony J.D. (for Juvenile Delinquent); Jody McCrea as the dim-witted Deadhead (later renamed Bonehead); the shimmying Candy Johnson; and John Ashley as the other good-looking male in the gang. Morey Amsterdam became the first veteran comedian to appear in the series--and would be followed by Don Rickles (four films), Buster Keaton (three), Paul Lynde, and Jesse White. Likewise, Vincent Price became the first classic film star to make a cameo, paving the way for Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, Dorothy Lamour, Elsa Lanchester, and Basil Rathbone.

Dick Dale jamming on his guitar.

As for the music, Dick Dale and the Del Tones perform the beach classic "Swingin' and a-Surfin'" while Frankie and Annette (as a duo and separately) croon the rest of the tunes. It's one of the best scores in the series with songs written by Bob Marcucci, Gary Usher and Roger Christian (who sometimes collaborated with the Beach Boys), and Guy Hemric and Jerry Styner (who wrote songs for several Beach Party pictures).

While Beach Party isn't the series' best entry (that'd be Beach Blanket Bingo), it's a pleasant diversion and deserves kudos for establishing the prototype for all subsequent 1960s teen sand 'n'surf movies. That makes it historically significant! And if that's not enough to convince you to watch it, then you might have to deal with Eric Von Zipper and the Ratz....

Some Like It Cold in "Ski Party"

Technically, I suppose that Ski Party doesn't qualify as part of AIP's Beach Party series. There's no Annette (except for a cameo), no beach (except for a scene at the climax), no Eric Von Zipper, and no aging classic film star. And yet...it features many Beach Party regulars (including the stars), the trademark bouncy tunes, a rock'n'roll legend (James Brown!), a pop chanteuse (Lesley Gore!), and--despite all the snow--plenty of bikinis. Okay, maybe it is a Beach Party movie!

Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman.

Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman star as Tod and Craig, two college chums trying to connect with a couple of curvy co-eds. Despite being a self-described "nice clean-cut American boy with a C+ average," Tod can't get even get a kiss from girlfriend Linda (Deborah Walley). Even worse, when Tod and Linda double-date at a drive-in with Craig and Barbara (Yvonne Craig), the girls giggle together in the convertible's backseat--leaving the guys to console one another in the front seat. Later, when Tod mentions Freddie, the campus's resident chick-magnet, Linda melts dreamily ("Ooh, ahh, Freddie..." she sighs).

Dwayne and Frankie as girls.

When the girls join Freddie and "the gang" on a trip to a ski resort, Tod and Craig tag along, too--even though neither can ski. After blundering through their first ski lesson with the guys, Tod decides they might have better luck in the girls' class. To earn admittance, he and Craig disguise themselves (none too well) as English exchange students Jane and  Nora. They soon become the most popular guests at the ski lodge! The other girls invite them to a pajama party and Freddie decides that Nora/Craig is his soul-mate. Yes, my friends, Ski Party is the Beach Party-equivalent of Some Like It Hot!

The most enjoyable aspect of Ski Party is Frankie Avalon's role reversal. In the Beach Party films pairing him with Annette, Frankie's character cringes at the mention of marriage and flirts openly with other females (though he ultimately remains faithful to Annette). In Ski Party, Tod desperately chases Linda, even though she essentially admits there's spark between them. He's a much more sympathetic character than any of Avalon's prior Beach Party protagonists.

The Swedish ski instructor fends off an amorous Frankie.

Freed of the romantic lead responsibility, Avalon turns in a surprisingly funny performance. His best scene has Tod, who has broken his leg ski jumping, hobbling several miles on crutches through a blizzard to reach the home of Nita, the pretty Swedish ski instructor (Bobbi Shaw). His expectation is that Nita will be "easier" because she's Swedish. However, Nita has learned a few things from the other girls at the ski lodge:

Nita:  I want you should talk to me and treat me like you would the American girls.

Tod:  The American...Nita, I that we were going to...

Nita:  No, no, no. First, we talk. And then candy. Then more talk. Then we can hold hands. Then you ask for the kiss on the cheek. Then maybe the kiss on the cheek. Then...then what comes next?

Tod:  (utterly crushed) I don't know. That's as far as I ever got.

As Avalon's co-star, Dwayne Hickman channels Jack Lemmon from Some Like It Hot, pulling off a nice homage with some amusing scenes as Nora. As Craig, he effectively reprises his unlucky-at-love Dobie Gillis persona (he starred in the TV series for four years). Alas, the normally charming Deborah Walley and Yvonne Craig do not fare as well, primarily because their characters just aren't very likable.

James Brown doing his moves.

Musician Marshall Crenshaw, author of Hollywood Rock: A Guide to Rock'n'Roll in the Movies, considers the Ski Party soundtrack to be "the best in an any AIP beacher." It's hard to argue. Lesley Gore sings one of her biggest hits "Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" (written by Marvin Hamlisch). The Hondells play "The Gasser" and the title tune. And, best of all, James Brown and the Fabulous Flames deliver a dynamic performance of "I Got You (I Feel Good)."

Annette cameos as a college
professor in Ski Party.

Yet, while Ski Party features good music and pleasant performances, I must admit that I miss Annette Funicello and Harvey Lembeck. Her sweetness and his silliness were essential elements of the best Beach Party movies and, for that reason alone, I've decided that Ski Party is almost part of the BP series--but not quite.

Buff Guys, Bikini Babes, and Rockin' Surf Music Abound in "Muscle Beach Party"

Julie, the Contessa, watches
as Flex flexes his muscles.

Contessa: You’re so strong. Flex: I’m the strongest.

Contessa: And so handsome.
Flex: I’m the handsomest.

Contessa: And so big.

Flex: Yes, ma’m.

Contessa: I want to be alone with you.

Flex: Did you see this tricep?

Contessa: I want to take you away with me.

Flex: The way I can make it ripple?

Contessa: Right now.

Flex: I haven’t had my lunch.

Jack Fanny (Don Rickles) motivates his bodybuilders,
led by Peter Lupus on the far right.

I have something in common with a Contessa. No, it’s not the wealth, nor the beauty. But we both think Peter Lupus, billed under the stage name Rock Stevens, is cute and fun. Muscle Beach Party gives Lupus’s character Flex Martian, also known as Mr. Galaxy, a chance to really show off his award-winning physique. Lupus became regular Willie Armitage on Mission: Impossible two years after this classic entry in the Beach Party series. Flex proudly wears a shiny purple bathing suit with a gold cape and is surrounded by seven shorter muscular men in shiny pink bathing trunks and pink capes (named Biff, Rock, Tug, Riff, Hulk, Sulk, and Clod) and their manager Jack Fanny, perfectly portrayed by Don Rickles.

Frankie explains to Dee Dee, a bit
condescendingly, that "girls don't fly."

Series regulars Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello are back in this second Beach Party entry as Frankie and Dee Dee, along with Jody McCrea as their friend Deadhead and shimmying Candy Johnson as Candy. The film opens with Frankie beginning to feel pressured by Dee Dee to make a commitment to settle down when he just wants to keep having fun with his beach friends.

Luciana Paluzzi before Thunderball.

Meanwhile, the Contessa Julie, played by the luminous Luciana Paluzzi (best known as Fiona Volpe in Thunderball), arrives in her luxury ocean liner. She proves to be indecisive, thinking she is in love first with Flex and then with Frankie, when she comes across him wistfully singing “A Boy Needs a Girl (He Can Count On)” on a moonlit beach. She decides she likes Frankie’s voice and boyish charms even more than the buff strongman’s--to the disgust of Dee Dee, who calls her the Bride of Godzilla at one point.

Annette surfing in her cute suit...
in front of a rear screen wave.

Annette plays the lovely girl next door and wears one of her prettiest two piece swimsuits, with a net draped across the top. We hear her sing “A Girl Needs a Boy (She Can Count On)” with an echo effect that came to be known as the "Annette sound." Part of the fun of Muscle Beach Party is hearing songs performed enthusiastically by Donna Loren, Little Stevie Wonder (who was 14 at the time), and Dick Dale and the Del-Tones.

Morey Amsterdam mugging
as Cappy.

Entertaining supporting performances abound, including Morey Amsterdam reprising the role of proprietor Cappy from Beach Party, Buddy Hackett as the Contessa's business manager, Peter Turgeon as Julie’s lawyer, and even a turn by Peter Lorre as the strong yet silent partner of Jack Fanny. Yet, despite the presence of such veteran funnymen, Harvey Lembeck is sorely missed as motorcycle gang leader Eric Von Zipper. Muscle Beach Party is the only one of the seven Beach Party movies without Lembeck.

The ending is not a surprise but viewers watch Beach Party films for the fun in the sun and the singing and dancing. There are lots of shots of surfing and even a “walls of Jericho” to separate the young women from the young men in their cramped lodging. It's a perfect movie for light summer viewing, with or without a beach.

Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (AND Vincent Price!)

Don’t expect to see Jody McCrea as Bonehead, fake surfing scenes, or the girl in the fringed dress shaking her … fringe. Don’t even expect to see more than a short glimpse of a beach! However, Dr. Goldfoot and Bikini Machine (hereafter, Dr. Goldfoot) is a spin-off of the beach party movies, and there are plenty of bikinis. It was produced in 1965 by American International, same filmmakers and writers, with claymation opening by Art Clokey. You will see funny cameos of Annette Funicello, Harvey Lembeck as Erich von Zipper, and Deborah Walley (the Gidget who went Hawaiian).
 

"The eyes of Goldfoot are upon you!"

Fred Clark

The best of Dr. Goldfoot is the amazing Vincent Price as the mad scientist with the golden shoes that resemble the footwear of Santa’s elves, complete with curled up toes. Price is obviously having a ball with his character, and thank heaven he is in almost all of the scenes. Without him, the movie would have been …well, pretty bad. Beach party alumnus Frankie Avalon plays Craig Gamble, a bumbling, clueless doofus who works for SIC, Secret Intelligence Command. Even though Craig is assistant to SIC director his Uncle Don (played by Fred Clark, droll and curmudgeonly), Craig has never moved up the ladder in the spy game – his code name is 00 ½. After Craig does something particularly stupid, Uncle Don demotes him to 00 ¼ , reminding him that he must remember he is a SIC man! So true.

Susan Hart

Dr. Goldfoot has created a 12-robot army, all gorgeous girls dressed in golden bikinis. He has programmed each one to seduce and marry 12 particular rich men and get their assets signed over, all of course to be given to Dr. Goldfoot. His assistant, Igor (Jack Mullaney) is not a hunchbacked dwarf. He has a greater handicap – he is really stupid! The exchanges between Price and Mullaney are hilarious. Poor Dr. Goldfoot regrets that he ever resurrected Igor from the dead, and is constantly berating him for being a blithering idiot, moron, etc. etc. Poor Igor just can’t win: (“Igor, you idiot! Why must you listen to me when I’m WRONG?!”).  Price often shouts to Igor “Shaddup!” -- a funny departure from Price’s otherwise perfect grammar and diction. One of the rich targets is Todd Armstrong (Dwayne Hickman), who isn’t much brighter than Craig Gamble. Robot #11, Diane (lovely Susan Hart) is assigned to entice Todd . The two men are involved in a mix-up of identity for Diane. (This was an inside joke for AIP studio – in Ski Party, Hickman had played a character named Craig Gamble, and Avalon was Todd Armstrong – there are some references to this name switch throughout Dr. Goldfoot.) The slapstick unfolding of the plot holds no surprises, as in most of the beach party movies. In this one, it’s all about the good comedy script and really well-done comic delivery by Price, Avalon, Hickman and Mullaney.

Frankie Avalon

Dwayne Hickman

Some amusing aspects of Dr. Goldfoot include Dr. Goldfoot’s castle-like abode. It features not only a modern robot laboratory, but also an inquisition-type dungeon (complete with pit and pendulum, many shots of which are actual scenes from Price’s The Pit and the Pendulum.) His inventions include two “gifts” which the robots can give to possible female rivals – opera glasses which shoot out poisoned darts when help up to the eyes, and lipstick that fires laser beams when applied. There are, of course, many sex-referenced jokes:  (Robot Diane bends over a flat tire, pulling up her trench coat to reveal her bikini-topped leg, and opening her coat to reveal the whole package. She says to Todd “I’m completely flat!”, to which Todd naturally replies “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”). Dr. Goldfoot features only one song, and it is a completely forgettable, really bad number done by “Sam and the Apemen.” I bet you've never heard of them. Neither has anyone else. Price said later that the movie was supposed to have more numbers, and he was disappointed that it did not. It did, however, have The Supremes singing the title song. One very entertaining musical feature is heard when the robots are confused about their missions – sound effects include bits and pieces of those used in War of the Worlds and Forbidden Planet. AIP also released a sequel called Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs. Apparently, both Dr. Goldfoot movies were the inspiration for Mike Myers’ Austin Powers “fembots”.

Dr. Goldfoot is really funny, and I didn’t expect it to be that good. Price is the glue that holds it together, and spoofs himself beautifully. Avalon and Hickman also have real comic flair as the dimwitted duo. Here are a few stills from the movie (courtesy of bmoviescentral), to which I attached quotes from the movie:

"Creating a lovely creature like that to
waste her ... ammunition ... on a pauper?!"

No quote here. One might wonder about Avalon's
expression ... but this is a G-rated movie!

"Why me?  Why is it always me?"

"It can't be!"