Dean Jones, Walt Disney, and a Quartet of Monkeys (or rather, Chimps)

Yvette Mimieux with one of the chimps.

We've been on a Disney movie run at the Cafe, revisiting some of the studio’s lesser-known live action films. There have been some pleasant surprises (Emil and the Detectives) and a few major disappointments (Dick Van Dyke wasted in Never a Dull Moment). The incorrectly-titled Monkeys, Go Home! falls somewhere in the middle.

The title tune, a breezy piece featuring lush strings, sounds more like a romantic comedy than a family film. And despite the presence of some playful chimpanzees, that's just what Monkeys, Go Home is.

Dean Jones stars as Hank Dussard, an American who has inherited an olive farm in a small French provincial town. He actually knows very little about harvesting olives, so he's surprised when the local priest informs him that the olives fall from the trees and have to be picked up from the ground by children or women because of their light touch (I'm still researching whether this is true).

Maurice Chevalier in his final role.

Father Sylvain (Maurice Chevalier) recommends that Hank get married and have lots of children. Of course, that strategy doesn't account for the fact that the children won't be old enough to pick olives for several years! It also makes Hank, who is already leery about marriage, initially distant when a pretty local woman (Yvette Mimieux) takes an interest in him.

Instead, Hank hatches on to an unconventional plan. He buys four female chimpanzees that he trained for NASA space missions. He figures if they can learn to become astronauts, they can learn how to pick olives.

I saw Monkeys, Go Home! at the theater when I was probably 10 years old. It'd be intriguing to go back in time and ask my younger self what I thought of it. Except for a handful of scenes with the cavorting chimps, I can't imagine any kid being entertained for long.

Dean Jones as Hank.

As a 1960s romantic comedy, Monkeys might have worked better with a different star. I like Dean Jones, but he comes across as a little cold and pragmatic as Hank. A lead with more inner warmth might have worked better, say, James Garner.

Yvette Mimeux isn't required to do much, but look adorable (which she does) and act sweet (ditto!). If you want to see a good example of her acting chops, you'll have to track down the very un-Disney Jackson County Jail (which garnered recognition, too, for her young co-star Tommy Lee Jones).

As you may have noticed, the title of the film is quite misleading. Chimpanzees are not monkeys; they are great apes and related to gorillas and orangutans. Apparently, the Disney executives just didn't understand the difference. Their earlier comedy, The Monkey's Uncle, also featured a chimp. Hey, no one would call Lancelot Link a monkey!

Connie Stevens and Dean Jones Make for "Two on a Guillotine"

Connie Stevens as Cassie.

Who is the mysterious young woman at the funeral of The Great Duquesne? She could be the spitting image of the famous magician's wife Melinda, who disappeared without explanation twenty years earlier. And what's up with the casket fitted with a window and wrapped in chains?

The young woman turns out to be Duquesne's daughter Cassie, who was raised by an aunt in Wisconsin and barely knew her parents. As for the unusual casket, a newspaper headline informs us that Duquesne has vowed to return from the dead.

As if being hounded by the press wasn't bad enough, Cassie (Connie Stevens) learns of an unusual condition to her $300,000 inheritance. She must spend seven consecutive nights in her father's mansion from midnight to dawn. If she fails to do so, then the estate will be divided between Duquesne's agent Buzzy and his caretaker Dolly.

The Great Duquesne and his guillotine.

Two on a Guillotine sounds like a William Castle film and one can just imagine the kind of gimmicks that could have accompanied it. However, this easygoing 1965 thriller was helmed by William Conrad. Yes, the man who voiced Matt Dillon on radio and later played Cannon on TV also directed movies. In fact, his follow-up was another 1965 thriller, My Blood Runs Cold, which featured Connie Stevens' frequent co-star Troy Donahue.

Dean Jones as Connie's love interest.

In lieu of Troy, Connie is paired with Disney regular Dean Jones in Two on a Guillotine. The affable Jones plays a newspaper journalist who starts out to get a story on Cassie and ends up falling in love with her. He also helps her figure out the source of the midnight moans and rattling chains in the Duquesne house.

Two on a Guillotine is a genial diversion, though it's easily seventeen minutes too long (90 minutes should be the standard for teen-oriented drive-in pictures!). Also, assuming that there are no ghosts, there's a paucity of suspects trying to drive Connie out of the house (if that's the intent).

Cesar Romero as the magician.

Conrad's direction is pretty straightforward with the exception of one Hithcockian moment. As Dean leans in to kiss Connie in a loud, rock'n'roll club, the music segues to Max Steiner's lush score. Dean pulls back from the kiss to reveal that he and Connie are now alone in her father's house.

There's also a priceless instance of unintentional foreshadowing. When Dean's character wants to reassure Cassie that he's the protective type, he jokes: "I'm half Saint Bernard." Eleven years later, Dean starred in Disney's The Shaggy D.A. His character wasn't a Saint Bernard, but he could transform into a sheepdog. Now, that's spooky!

Here's a clip from Two on Guillotine, courtesy of warnerarchive.com, which you can view full-screen on the Classic Film & TV Cafe YouTube channel. (You can also stream the entire movie at Warner Archive).

1960s Twin Bill: "The Rare Breed" and "Blackbeard's Ghost"

James Stewart.

The Rare Breed

With the exception of The Flight of the Phoenix, James Stewart didn't get a lot of worthy roles in the 1960s. He was in his mid-fifties when the decade began, so instead of his typical romantic leads and loner heroes, he played a lot of patriarchs in lukewarm fare like Dear Brigitte, Shenandoah, and Take Her, She's Mine (I admit having a soft spot for Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation). Stewart also continued to appear frequently in Westerns, where his now-graying hair only added to his tough exterior. One of his better horse operas of the period was The Rare Breed, a modest effort bolstered by a strong cast and an offbeat premise.

Maureen O'Hara.

Maureen O'Hara stars as a (typically) spunky, yet refined, English woman who's intent on realizing her deceased husband's dream of cross-breeding longhorn steers with Herefords. When she sells a prized Hereford bull named Vindicator, Stewart's crusty ranch hand agrees to deliver the bull to its new owner. Along the way, O'Hara, Stewart, and Juliet Mills (as O'Hara's daughter) spar with a pair of crooks, who--along with Stewart's character--plan to steal the bull. The plot changes direction at the mid-point when the trio arrive at the ranch of a Scottish rancher (played by an almost unrecognizable Brian Keith), who takes a romantic interest in O'Hara.

Yes, that's Brian Keith!

The film's first half is a lazy hodgepodge that shifts back and forth from a lighthearted Western (with big barroom brawls) to a more serious film (where people are killed in cold blood). Still, The Rare Breed settles down in its second half, becoming more of a character study, with Stewart's loner--having lost O'Hara's trust and affections--finally finding meaning in his life.

The three veteran leads are solid, with Keith having a grand time with his Scottish brogue. Yet, Juliet Mills (Nanny and the Professor) comes off best as a young woman with true grit. (It's fun to see O'Hara, Keith, and Mills together, since the first two starred with Juliet's sister, Hayley, in The Parent Trap.)

From a production standpoint, the film's scenic landscapes are undermined by poor-looking rear screen shots and stunt doubles that barely resemble the stars.

Blackbeard's Ghost

Peter Ustinov and an atmospheric coastal setting make Blackbeard's Ghost one of Disney's better live action comedies of the late 1960s. Disney regular Dean Jones stars as Steve Walker, the new track coach for Godolphin College. Steve arrives in the quaint seaside town on the night of the Buccaneer Bazaar, a fund-raising effort for the elderly Daughters of the Buccaneers. The nice old ladies are in financial trouble, because a local gangster has bought their mortgage and wants full payment. His plan is to boot them out of their inn so he can replace it with a casino.

That night, Steve, who is staying at the inn, inadvertently calls forth Blackbeard's ghost when he recites a spell from a witch's book. Blackbeard (Ustinov) explains that he's been caught in "limbo," destined never to join his ghostly crew until--as Steve later discovers--the pirate performs a good deed. This will obviously be a challenge for the whiny, surprisingly sensitive, rum-drinking buccaneer.

Peter Ustinov and Dean Jones.

Though based on a children's novel by Ben Stahl, Blackbeard's Ghost recycles many familiar elements from earlier Disney films. In lieu of a wacky basketball game (The Absent-Minded Professor) or football game (Son of Flubber), we get a track meet where Blackbeard--who's invisible to everyone but Steve--helps Godolphin College's unimposing athletes earn an unlikely victory. Predictably, Steve's eventual love interest (played by the always likable Suzanne Pleshette) dates the gruff football coach who dislikes Steve. The gangsters are a thick-headed bunch except for their leader, the appropriately-named Silky Seymour (well played by Joby Baker, another Disney regular).

Suzanne Pleshette.

While it may all sound rather predictable, Blackbeard's Ghost gets a huge boost from Peter Ustinov, who transforms the bloody pirate into a reluctant and amusing hero. Ustinov even keeps in check his tendency to play some roles too broadly. Of course, a little blustering seems appropriate for a famous pirate. The end result is that, despite the film's derivative aspects, Ustinov makes Blackbeard's Ghost a diverting way to spend an evening.