Burt Reynolds' Unofficial Remake of a Film Noir Classic

Burt Reynolds as Sharky.

After placing a civilian in harm's way, big city detective Tom Sharky is "demoted" from narcotics to vice. It's intended to be a humdrum assignment, but that changes quickly when Sharky (Burt Reynolds) confiscates a list of seven coded phone numbers from an affluent pimp. One number belongs to a murder victim; Sharky is directed take no action on a second number. That's the one that interests him, of course, and it belongs to a high-class prostitute named Dominoe (Rachel Ward).

Sharky and a fellow vice detective bug Dominoe's apartment and learn she is having an affair with a politician running for state governor. Convinced there is a link to the earlier murder, Sharky conducts 24-hour surveillance of Dominoe's apartment. He also begins to follow her and slowly develops an infatuation with the beautiful call girl. That comes to an end, though, when she answers the doorbell one morning and is shot in the face with a shotgun.

If you don't already recognize the plot to a famous 1940s film noir, then stop reading this review now because spoilers lie ahead.

Although it was based on a 1978 novel by William Diehl, Sharky's Machine borrows its premise largely from Otto Preminger's Laura (1944). In both films, a detective becomes obsessed with a beautiful woman who is believed to be murdered--only to turn out to be alive. The key difference is that Dana Andrews' detective in Laura falls for a woman he believes is dead. At least, Sharky's obsession is about a "real" woman.

Rachel Ward as Dominoe.

Sharky's Machine could have been a dark mystery with disturbing overtones. Let's be honest, Dana Andrews' character in Laura wasn't that far removed from James Stewart's over-the-edge protagonist in Hitchcock's Vertigo. The problem with Sharky's Machine is that its star--who also directed--doesn't know how to make anything but a Burt Reynolds movie. With his trademark mustache and sly smile, Burt portrays Sharky as a conventional detective who plays tough with the boys and tough-tender with the ladies. The scene where a coy Sharky flirts with Dominoe and then carries her to bed is painful to watch.

Bernie Casey as Sharky's pal.

Reynolds surrounds himself with a capable supporting cast, but gives most of them little to do. It's sad to see a fine actor like Brian Keith relegated to a bit part (but it's also likely he wasn't in demand at that point in his career). Rachel Ward is gorgeous as Dominoe but struggles in a poorly-written part. She showed off her acting prowess two years later in The Thornbirds miniseries. As Reynolds' vice squad partner, Bernie Casey (Gargoyles) delivers the most believable performance.

To his credit, Reynolds tries to tweak his standard formula by setting the action in Atlanta (instead of NYC or Chicago) and incorporating a jazz soundtrack with songs by Sarah Vaughan, Doc Severinsen, and others. Personally, I didn't care for the score, but I chalk that up solely to personal taste.

Burt Reynolds initially asked John Boorman to direct, but the filmmaker was still working on Excalibur. Based on his earlier success in the crime movie genre (see Point Blank), I am sure Boorman could have delivered a far superior film. It's easy to speculate on what Sharky's Machine might have been. The reality is that Reynolds' variation on Laura is nothing more than a passable time-filler if you've got nothing else to do.

The Longest Yard: "It's just a game."

I'm sure many critics would opt for Deliverance, but I'd rate Burt Reynolds' performance in The Longest Yard as his best. That opinion was just confirmed when I watched that 1974 football-in-prison film for probably the fifth time. It still holds up remarkably well despite running just over two hours and with a climatic game that takes up an amazing 42 minutes of the running time.

Burt plays Paul "Wrecking" Crewe, a washed-up pro football quarterback wasting away his life and living off a wealthy lady who has no interest in his mind. When he suddenly decides to rebel, she tries to stop him--only to be slapped and thrown to the floor (a scene that still shocks in its unexpected violence). He steals an expensive sports car, eludes the cops in a high-speed chase, and dumps the car in a river. When confronted by two police officers, he makes jokes at their expense and ends up in a fight. It's no surprise that he winds up in the Citrus State Prison for 2-5 years (18 months with good behavior).

A mean Eddie Albert.

Warden Rudolph Hazen (Eddie Albert) wants Crewe to help coach his semi-pro football team, consisting of prison guards, to a national title. For his own safety. Crewe declines. However, he makes a deal with Hazen later by agreeing to assemble a team comprised of prisoners as a "warm up" for the prison guards. Along the way, the self-centered, cocky Crewe learns a lot about his fellow inmates and, of course, even more about himself.

As some of you may know, I'm a sucker for a "let's form a team" plot and The Longest Yard doesn't disappoint on that front as Crewe and newfound friend Caretaker (James Hampton) try to form a ragtag football team. Most of their recruits just want to inflict some reciprocal pain on the cruel prison guards. But for others, it's an opportunity to regain self-respect or even recapture some sports glory from the past. Initially, Crewe considers it "just a game," but it becomes much more--especially after an inmate is viciously murdered.

Burt Reynolds displays plenty of his megawatt bad boy charm in The Longest Yard, but there's an edge here, a toughness, that's missing from later performances. He seems fully committed to his role, which is best captured in the prison scene where his trademark 1970s mustache is shaved off by a sneering guard.

It's hard to imagine a better supporting cast for a film like this. Eddie Albert puts aside his good guy image to play the unpleasant warden. Bernadette Peters has two brief, but delightful scenes, as an amorous secretary with Bride of Frankenstein hair. James Hampton, known for playing bugler Dobbs on F Troop, gives a career-best performance as Caretaker, a crafty sort who can smuggle anything into the prison. And 7' 2" Richard Kiel (Jaws in two Bond films) is hilarious as a surprisingly sensitive thug and gets one of the film's best remembered lines (though we won't reprint the colorful language here).

Bernadette Peters and hair.

There are plenty of former real-life pro football stars, too, to include: Mike Henry, Joe Kapp, Ray Nitschke, Pervis Atkins, Ernie Wheelwright, and Sonny Sixkiller. Henry, who played Tarzan in three 1960s pictures, would co-star with Reynolds again in the first two Smokey and the Bandit movies (and in the third one without Burt).

Sometimes crude and violent, The Longest Yard may not appeal to all viewers, but it's a well-crafted gritty sports film peppered with humor. It reminded me how good Burt Reynolds could be when he made the effort. It also made me realize that Robert Aldrich must have been one of the underappreciated directors of the 1950s through 1970s. His filmography includes such classics as Kiss Me Deadly, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, The Dirty Dozen, and The Flight of the Phoenix.

Parker Stevenson Talks About The Hardy Boys, Probe, and His Passion for Photography

Stevenson as teen detective Frank Hardy.

Parker Stevenson can still make ladies swoon. I recently attended the 2014 Western Film Fair, where the star of the The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977-79) was one of the guests. As I rode up the elevator with a mother and daughter, the former was staring off into space. The daughter looked at me, smiled, and said: "Mom is still gooey from meeting Parker Stevenson." As agreeable in real life as he is on the screen, Mr. Stevenson sat down for an interview with yours truly.

Café: How did you go from Princeton University to acting?

Stevenson signing autographs at
the Western Film Fair.

Parker Stevenson: I needed a job (laughs). I graduated from the architecture program at Princeton, but decided I didn't want to keep doing architecture and I really didn't know what to do. I'd been acting since I was 14, doing movies, television, and commercials. Just as I was graduating, I got offered The Hardy Boys, so I made the switch and really committed to acting at that point.

Café: How did you get the role of Frank Hardy?

PS: I got it because the producers has seen me in a couple of the movies I'd done. In fact, I had done one with Pamela Sue Martin a couple of years before (1974's Our Time) and she ended up being Nancy Drew. So, I think that was the connection for them.

Parker Stevenson and Shaun Cassidy.

Café: How did you and Shaun Cassidy get along on the show?

PS: Great. He's really an easygoing guy and his sense of humor is like mine. That's probably why we got cast together, because we just liked each other. Part of what the show was about was two brothers who actually get along and get into trouble together. I'm still in touch with Shaun. He's still a good friend.

Café: Had you read any of The Hardy Boys books or seen the serial from The Micky Mouse Club?

PS:  I hadn't seen the serial. I was familiar with bits and pieces of the books, but I hadn't read them. I was really late getting started on my reading, which now I'm crazy about. But in those years, I wasn't much of a reader. I discovered the books really doing the show.

On Baywatch (of course!).

Café: How did you get cast on Baywatch?

PS: I did a movie called Lifeguard with Sam Elliott and the producers thought I might be okay playing a lifeguard (laughs). Really.

Café:  You've appeared in a number of popular series like Melrose Place and Falcon Crest in addition to The Hardy Boys and Baywatch. Out of all your TV series, which one is your favorite and why? 

With Ashley Crow on Probe.

PS:  My favorite was Probe (1988), which I did for ABC. It ran a year. I loved the show. It was Isaac Asimov's Probe, so it had really trippy interesting stories. It was up against The Cosby Show or something, so it struggled in the ratings. It was the closest to me in terms of how I think and what I'm like in real life.

Café:  I recently came across your photography website parkerstevensonshadowworks.com. How did you become interested in photography?

PS:  I was one of those kids that had a Brownie camera and was always shooting. I'd take pictures of my friends or just doing goofy things in the backyard. By the time I was 14, I was shooting weddings for people, which was really not a good idea (laughs). They liked my pictures. I delivered and was responsible. Then, I hit a point where I didn't want to shoot people anymore. I felt too intimidated. Even if you just walk up and shoot someone, you feel like you're imposing and invading. My photography shifted to architecture, landscapes, and still lifes until about 15 years ago when some friends asked me to shoot them. I shifted all the way back to people again. Portraits are what I shoot the most now.

Parker snapped a selfie of the two of us;
he's the one on the right!

Café:  You recently appeared in an episode of Longmire, so what's the secret to Parker Stevenson's lengthy career?

PS:  I asked Burt Reynolds a similar question years ago. The question was: "Burt, you've been the #1 box office star for ten years now and you have this sort of Cary Grant ease about you. How have you managed to maintain that?" He said: "There are a lot of guys that are better looking or more talented than you or I, but they didn't hang in there." I took that to heart. I always wanted a career where I could keep working and trying new things and working with new people. I wanted a Jimmy Stewart career, not a huge, hot, short career. So, Burt's advice that you've got to hang in there is the answer.

Café:  Do you have any upcoming films, TV roles, or convention appearances that you want to share with our readers?

PS:  I'm doing a play in L.A. in later July called Chasing Smoke, which hopefully will have a long run. I love the script and it's close to my heart. Hopefully, I'll be back on Longmire. It looks like I might be. And I will be at another convention, the Hollywood Show, in Chicago on August 15-17. 

Café:  Thanks so much, Mr. Stevenson.

PS:  It was my pleasure.