Tuesday, December 13, 2016

The Five Weirdest and Worst Movie Titles

Kreski, Newley, and Collins.
1. Can Heironymous Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humpe and Find True Happiness? (1969) - Anthony Newley co-wrote the songs, co-wrote the screenplay, co-produced, directed and starred in this X-rated vanity musical about a middle-aged, sex-obsessed singer. The bizarre cast included Joan Collins (then Newley's wife) as Polyester Poontang, Milton Berle, and Playboy Playmate Connie Kreski as Mercy Humpe.

2. Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? (1996) - One would hope that Mom's response to the title question was: "No, dear daughter, you may certainly not." Tori Spelling plays a college student who meets a nice young man--who is actually a possessive, psycho killer. This made-for-TV movie has become something of a cult film due to its unintentional camp quotient.

The memorable graphic from the LP.
3. Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' So Sad (1967) - Rosalind Russell plays an overbearing mother who takes her husband and son (Robert Morse) on a vacation to the Caribbean. By the way, her husband is dead, stuffed, and in a coffin. The film was based on an Off-Broadway stage farce written by three-time Tony-nominated playwright Arthur Kopit.

4. Hawmps! (1976) - James Hampton, best known as Dobbs on F Troop, stars in this Western comedy about an attempt to replace horses with camels in the U.S. Cavalry. It was produced and directed by Joe Camp, the man that made Benji a 1970s canine icon. As for the film's title, what in the heck was Joe thinking?

Star Cash Flagg was Steckler.
5. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies (1964) - There is no way I can write a better summary than this one from the IMDb: "Jerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree." Filmmaker Ray Dennis Steckler didn't make good movies--but they were original and had great titles. The alternate title for this one is the equally memorable Teenage Psycho Meets Bloody Mary.

Honorable Mention: Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, another Steckler "classic." When asked about the odd title in an interview on The Incredibly Strange Film Show, Steckler explained that the title was supposed to be Rat Pfink and Boo Boo. However, there was a mix-up with the title company and Steckler couldn't afford to get the title corrected.


  1. These aren't bad titles, since they got their respective movies noticed. And remembered. Bad titles are those that completely fail to sell, or even represent, the film. Calling a violent Depression-era film Emperor of The North (Pole). a prime example.

  2. The '60s obviously wins out as the decade that produced the worst movie titles of all time.

  3. There's something fun about saying #2. Is it just me?

  4. Oh come now, how can you omit 1938's The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse?

  5. Personally, I find writing titles/headlines really tough, so I feel for the folks behind the ones you've listed here. I'm not sure I'd do much better.

    As an aside, the film about replacing horses with camels sounds kind of intriguing...

  6. Loved this post with decidedly quirky titles!