The John Wayne Movie That Katharine Ross Called "the Biggest Piece of Crap I've Ever Done"

Here are some interesting tidbits about Katharine Ross's title quote. She made it during the production of Hellfighters (1968), which is not the kind of publicity favored by movie studios. She had only made a handful of films at that time, though one of them was The Graduate (1967)--so perhaps Hellfighters was her worst film to date. However, Ms. Ross later made some pretty crappy movies like The Swarm, The Betsy, and The Legacy (all produced in 1978). If she had dubbed Hellfighters the "crappiest" after that trio, then that would have meant something!

Sandwiched between two of John Wayne's best known films--The Green Berets and True Grit--Hellfighters owes more to the former (without the politics) than the latter. In fact, two of the Duke's fellow Berets, Jim Hutton and Bruce Cabot, team up with him again in Hellfighters. This time, the trio are fighting oil fires for money. Wayne plays Chance Buckman, whose Houston-based company's motto is: "Around the clock. Around the world." Their clients are oil well owners, who buy insurance just in case one of their wells turns into a tower of spewing flames. When that happens, the phone rings (answered by the ever-efficient Barbara Stuart) and our guys take off in their helicopter to put out the fire.

Ross--she didn't like the movie.

That's no easy task, of course, and the film's best scenes show Buckman's well-rehearsed crew managing the flames before they blow them out with nitroglycerin. I don't know about you, but handling nitro in the vicinity of a raging fire is not my idea of a promising occupation. This opinion was apparently shared by Madelyn Buckman (Vera Miles), Chance's ex-wife, who left him and took their young daughter Tish. However, when Chance undergoes a life-threatening surgery, his right-hand man Greg (Hutton) sends for the now-adult estranged daughter (Katharine Ross).

Not only does Tish reconnect with her father, she also marries Greg. Their daughter's wedding reunites Chance and Madelyn, who have never stopped loving one another. Chance retires from the oil firefighting business and take a boardroom job (resulting in an entertaining scene where the board discusses the virtues of various bathroom colors for their gas stations). Can Chance live without the adrenalin rush or will Madelyn be forced to leave him again? Will Tish be able to continue coping with Greg's risky occupation? And what about those South American guerrilla fighters trying to blow up the wells where Greg's team is working?

Despite its unusual topic, Hellfighters is a formula movie, the kind that dominated much of Wayne's later career (e.g., McQ, Big Jake, The Train Robbers). It's way too long at 118 minutes and, after the second oil well fire, the action scenes become redundant. Its worst crime, though, is wasting Vera Miles in a small and thankless role.

Ad from the Red Adair Company's web site.

Hellfighters is loosely based on the life of Paul "Red" Adair, who founded his oil firefighting company in 1959. Adair gained fame in 1962 when his company doused the flames of a Sahara Desert oil well fire that had burned for over five months. Adair, who was one of several consultants on the making of Hellfighters, died in 2004. A company bearing his name still provides services for "wild well control, oil well fires, and blowouts."

While Wayne and Ross went on to memorable roles (in, respectively, True Grit and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), Jim Hutton moved from the big screen to the small screen. He starred in several made-for-TV movies and made guest appearances in series like Marcus Welby, M.D., The Name of the Game, and Love, American Style. He was perhaps best remembered for playing Ellery Queen in the 1975-76 series. He was still active in television when he died of liver cancer in 1979.

The Five Coolest Cars on Classic TV

Classic television and memorable cars have a long history together. Who can forget My Mother the Car, in which Jerry Van Dyke's mom was reincarnated as--yes--a car (a 1928 Porter voiced by Ann Sothern)? Police cars earned title credits in Car 54, Where Are You? and Adam-12. Even cartoons got into the act with Speed Racer. But what were the coolest cars on classic TV? There are many to pick from, but befitting this month's theme at the Cafe, we limited our picks to the Top 5:

1. Route 66 (1960-64) - One of the most iconic cars in American pop culture, the Corvette driven by Tod Stiles (Martin Milner) was the only possession his deceased father left him--other than a lot of bills. There were actually several models and colors of Corvettes used in the series (Chevrolet was a sponsor). For all but one episode of the first season, Tod and Buz (George Maharis) cruised the country in a blue 1960 'Vette. Still, it looked gray since the series was filmed in black and white!

2. Knight Rider (1982-86) - The Knight Industries Two Thousand (KITT) was a black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am that cruised at 300 MPH, contained a fine array of weapons (e.g., a flamethrower), and featured an amazingly durable exterior. Its most distinctive feature was a talking computer with artificial intelligence and a a haughty personality to match.

3. Batman (1966-68) - Sure, the movie incarnations of the Batmobile may look sleeker, more realistic, and boast more gadgets--but the '66 version was considered pretty cool for its time. Customized from a 1955 Lincoln Futura (a concept car), the Batmobile was a staple at touring auto shows for years. Today, it is estimated to be worth $2 million.

4. The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-86) -  While Bo, Luke, and Daisy may have gotten more fan mail, the "General Lee"--the boys' 1969 Dodge Charger--was mighty popular. With a Confederate flag on its roof and a horn that played "Dixie," it sure had a Southern vibe. Over 200 General Lees were used during the filming of the series. The doors were welded shut for the stunts--though it looked cool, too, when Bo and Luke climbed in and out of the windows.

5. UFO (1970) - Most of the vehicles in Gerry Anderson's futuristic series were nifty miniatures, but the car driven by Commander Ed Straker was a modified Ford Zephyr Mark IV with doors that open upward. Although probably the least-known auto in our Top 5, it has a cult following among pop culture car enthusiasts and Dinky Toys even marketed a die-cast miniature called, appropriately, Ed Straker's Car. For a few years, it was owned by a BBC Radio 1 disc jockey.


Honorable Mentions:  1975 Ford Gran Torino from Starsky & Hutch; 1978 Ferrari 308 GTS from Magnum, P.I.; 1974 Pontiac Firebird Esprit from The Rockford Files; the "Black Beauty" from The Green Hornet; and Emma Peel's Lotus Elan from The Avengers.

Damon and Pythias: How Far will a Friend Go?

When it was first released, Damon and Pythias (1962) was no doubt lost among the dozens of Italian sword-and-sandal films produced in the 1960s. Except for its setting--Greece and Sicily in 400 B.C.--it has little in common with those pictures. There are no muscular heroes, no mythical creatures, and surprisingly little action. Instead, Damon and Pythias is a film about the power of friendship and its effect on others.

When their ruler dies, the Athenians determine that he will be replaced by the wise missionary Arcanos. Unfortunately, Arcanos resides in Syracuse, where he has been teaching Greek philosophy as part of an underground movement. Pythias (Don Burnett) volunteers to bring back Arcanos, although the journey into enemy territory will be perilous. He struggles with how to break the news to his high-strung pregnant wife Nerissa (Ilaria Occhini). He finally opts for the easy way out...and leaves that task to his brother and sister.

Guy Williams as Damon.

In Syracuse, Pythias runs afoul of petty thieves led by a rogue named Damon (Guy Williams). Despite their initial conflict, the two men grow to like one another. As Damon explains to his girlfriend Adriana (Liana Orfei), it's nice to have to a friend "that's really worth something." Still, Damon betrays his new-found friend before having second thoughts and warning Pythias. His efforts come too late, though, when Dionysius the Tyrant (that's how he's labeled at the start of the film) captures Pythias.

Nerissa...pretty but dramatic.

In an act of unparalleled friendship, Damon offers to be executed in place of Pythias. At first, Pythias rejects the idea--but he has second thoughts after learning that Nerissa may die in childbirth. Dionysius, thinking that he can crush this dangerous idea of brotherhood, tells Pythias that he will be released for two months. If he does not return by that time, Damon will be killed in his place. Will Pythias return? Will Dionysius ensure that he doesn't? How will the always dramatic Nerissa  react to this news?

Loosely based on a Greek legend, Damon and Pythias could have been a first-rate picture with a stronger script and bigger stars. Perhaps, MGM's original intent was to mount a rival production to the big-budget epics of the same period (e.g., Spartacus, The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire). However, with its modest budget and low wattage cast, it's clear that the studio ultimately set its goals much lower.

Don Burnett as Pythias.

Still, that's not to say that Damon and Pythias isn't an entertaining excursion. Guy Williams, fresh off a popular two-year run in Disney's Zorro, has the requisite charisma to make Damon a likable rascal. Don Burnett, on the other hand, turns the serious Pythias into a glum, boring protagonist--albeit one with good intentions. Liana Orfei holds her own as Damon's realistic girlfriend, but this is a film about male bonding and that leaves her with little to do.

Williams and Burnett, friends in real life, both had Italian connections. The American-born Williams was of Italian descent and his real name was Armand Catalano. After playing Dr. John Robinson in TV's Lost in Space, he retired to Argentina in the 1970s and died of a brain aneurysm in 1989. Don Burnett spoke at his memorial service.

Burnett retired from acting after Damon and Pythias and eventually became a successful stockbroker. Burnett's first wife was Italian star Gia Scala (The Guns of Navarone, The Angry Hills). They divorced in 1970; she committed suicide two years later after struggling with depression and alcoholism. Burnett eventually married Barbara Anderson, one of Raymond Burr's co-stars on the TV series Ironside.

Real-life friends Burnett and Williams--with guard between them.

So what's the final score on this test of friendship? We'll give Damon and Pythias a solid "B" for stretching the bounds of the sword-and-sandal genre and for conveying a worthy message with a minimum of pretensions.

Warner Archives provided a screening copy of this DVD.

DVD Spotlight: Garrow's Law

Andrew Buchan as William Garrow.

Are you a fan of British courtroom shows like Rumpole of the Bailey? How about historical dramas along the lines of Poldark? If you answered yes to both questions, then you may want to check out Garrow's Law, a 2009-12 BBC series that smartly combines both genres. Andrew Buchan (Cranford) stars as William Garrow, a real-life London barrister (1760-1840) credited with coining the phrase: "Innocent until proven guilty."

In the series, Garrow is a curt intellectual interested more in legally or socially significant cases than in a profitable career. His associate, a middle-aged solicitor named John Southouse, often confers with their clients in the damp, cold confines of Newgate Prison (where moldy water trickles down the walls). Their cases range from an attempted assassination of King George III to treason to torture of a slave (a misdemeanor according to British law at the time). Interestingly, the cases were culled from actual trials documented in the proceedings of the Old Bailey (click here to visit the online database).

Lyndsey Marshal as Lady Sarah Hill.

Garrow's courtroom appearances attract the attention of Lady Sarah Hill (Lyndsey Marshal) and the two quickly develop a mutual attraction. Unfortunately, Lady Sarah is married to Sir Arthur Hill, a pompous baronet with a second-rate political career. It's not long before others note the smoldering exchanges between Garrow and Lady Sarah, resulting in scandalous rumors and eventually an allegation of adultery.

The continuing plot line involving Lady Sarah offers interesting insights into the limited rights of British women during the Georgian era (e.g., she owns no property, even her jewelry belongs to her husband). However, it never quite gels as an effective love story despite the strengths of the individual characters. One reason is that, as Southouse tells Sarah: "Garrow will be Garrow." In other words, his love of the law and his detached persona form an obstacle in developing normal relationships. From a dramatic standpoint, Garrow's legal discussions with his mentor Southouse overshadow the soapier scenes with Sarah.

Alun Armstrong as Southouse.

Andrew Buchan brings the requisite dash and brooding quality to Garrow. However, British veteran character actor Alun Armstrong steals the series as the clever and quietly kind Southouse (pronounded soot-house). PBS fans may remember Armstrong for his portrayals of Inspector Bucket in Bleak House (2008) and as Flintwich in Little Dorrit (2008).

From a production standpoint, Garrow's Law looks like a big-budget film. The filthy streets of the London slums and the dark tunnels of Newgate Prison are skilfully contrasted with the bright, ornate residences of the aristocrats. 

The real William Garrow from rose humble beginnings to a highly successful career as a barrister, politician, and judge. In 1812, he was knighted when he was appointed His Majesty's Solicitor for England and Wales (essentially the Deputy Attorney General). The following year, he became the Attorney General. Garrow had a long-term relationship with Sarah Dore, who had previously had a child out of wedlock with Sir Arthur Hill. Garrow and Sarah finally married in 1793--several years after the births of their two children.

Garrow's Law works well as a keen portrait of Georgian England and an examination of a legal system that was evolving rapidly. If its dramatic subplots falter occasionally, they never get in the way of the show's strengths. With a mere total of 12 episodes over its three seasons, it's a shame that the BBC cancelled it so early in William Garrow's career.

Acorn Media provided a copy of the season 3 DVD set of Garrow's Law.

The Five Best Hitchcock Cameo Appearances

Hitchcock has appeared briefly in each of his films since 1926's The Lodger, in which his appearance was simply to "fill the screen." Often, he can be glimpsed as a passer-by, usually showing up near the beginning of a film (so viewers don't get distracted looking for him). It was tough to single just five cameos, but here goes:

Lifeboat

1. Lifeboat - Easily Hitchcock's most famous cameo, this one featured him in a before-and-after newspaper advertisement for a fictional weight-reducing drug called Reduco. The film's setting (in a lifeboat, of course) called for some creativity. Hitchcock initially considered playing the part of a floating body ("I was afraid I'd sink," he told Francois Truffaut). Since he was dieting at that time, he decided to immortalize his real-life weight loss with a fictional ad. He actually received fan letters asking where to buy Reduco.

Dial M for Murder

2. Dial M for Murder - Hitchcock appears in a Cambridge class reunion photograph, seated at a banquet table (second from the left) with Ray Milland and others.

3. Rear Window - In the apartment with the composer, Hitchcock can be glimpsed winding a clock.

To Catch a Thief

4. To Catch a Thief - Cary Grant catches a bus and plops down between Hitchcock and a cage of birds. Cary shoots the famous director a quizzical glance.

5. Family Plot - His famous silhouette appears behind the glass door of the Registrar of Births and Deaths.

Honorable Mentions: The Birds (walking two dogs as he exits the pet shop); Shadow of a Doubt (playing bridge on the train, but only shown from behind); and Notorious (downing a glass of champagne at a party).

Here's an entertaining compilation of every Hitchcock cameo appearance:

The Five Best Movie Gimmicks

The "Golden Era of Movie Gimmicks" was in the late 1950s and 1960s when producer William Castle came up with some very innovative ways to lure audiences to his low-budget thrillers and horror films. Although Castle remains the undisputed King of Gimmicks, there were memorable ones before and after him. The Cafe takes a shot at listing the five best movie gimmicks:

The shadow of the Tingler. Scream,
scream for your life!

1. The Tingler - Vincent Price stars as a doctor who discovers a crustacean-like creature that grows at the base of the spine during moments of intense fright. When one screams, the creature reduces in size and becomes harmless. However, if you’re too afraid to scream, the Tingler snaps your spine, causing instant death! At the film's climax, Price surgically removes a Tingler, which subsequently escapes to a movie theater below him.  The screen goes black and Price urges the real movie audience to: “Scream!  Scream for your lives!” To heighten the effect, some patrons at selected movie theaters received mild electric shocks (yes, Castle had actually wired some of the seats!). 

2. House on Haunted Hill - If five guests can spent the night in Vincent Price's haunted house, each will receive $10,000. Castle's big gimmick, dubbed “Emergo” (love the name!), was simply a skeleton on a wire which projectionists dropped over unsuspecting viewers during the film’s big shock scene. Again, the gimmick was only used in selected theaters, although it was recreated for a New York City film festival in 2010. 

3. Scent of Mystery - Mike Todd, Jr. produced this light mystery about a novelist trying to save an heiress (an unbilled Elizabeth Taylor) from a murder plot. In selected theatres, over 30 aromas were piped in via plastic tubes at appropriate points in the film--this was dubbed “Smell-O-Vision.” There have also been other attempts to create smelly movies, the most famous being John Waters' campy Polyester, which took the low-tech route with scratch-and-sniff cards (Waters, who has a great appreciation of "B" cinema history, called his gimmick Odorama).

If you can see these ghosts, you
must be wearing your glasses!

4. 13 Ghosts - This second haunted house movie (albeit a family-friendly one) from Castle was filmed in "Illusion-O." With this gimmick, Castle provided viewers with filtered glasses which allowed them to see the movie’s “invisible” ghosts.

5. Earthquake - The most expensive and large-scale gimmick (short of 3-D) was Sensurround, in which a film's soundtrack was amplified in certain scenes to cause a rumbling sensation. It also caused headaches.  The first Sensurround film was the disaster flick Earthquake in 1974. It was followed by Midway (1976) and Rollercoaster (1977).

Honorable Mentions:  Macabre (Castle offered a $1000 life insurance policy if anyone died of fright while watching the movie); Homicidal and Ten Little Indians (1965) paused the action momentarily for a "Fright Break" and a "Murder Minute," respectively; the otherwise forgettable thriller Wicked, Wicked was shot in "Duovision," meaning that  almost the entire movie was shown in split-screen so the audience could follow simultaneously-occurring events; and, finally, Robert Montgomery filmed all of the Philip Marlowe mystery The Lady in the Lake in first-person (Marlowe is only glimpsed via reflections).

The Five Best "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" Episodes

In terms of longevity, Alfred Hitchcock Presents was the most successful American television anthology series. It ran from 1955 to 1962 in a half-hour format and then from 1962 to 1965 as The Alfred Hitchcock Hour. The list below includes only the 268 half-hour episodes.

Barbara Bel Geddes looking calm.

1. Lamb to the Slaughter - When a meek housewife (Barbara Bel Geddes) learns that her cheating husband is leaving her, she whacks him--fatally--with a frozen leg of lamb. She then calmly calls the police to report that her husband was murdered by an intruder. This darkly amusing tale, written by Roald Dahl, works to perfection--right down to the killer punch line. It was one of only 17 episodes (of the total 268) directed by Hitchcock.

2. Man from the South - Based on another Roald Dahl story, this episode stars Steve McQueen as a young man who bets a wealthy oddball (Peter Lorre) that he can light his lighter ten times in a row. If he can, he wins Lorre's snazzy convertible. But if the lighter fares to produce a flame just once, he loses a finger. A suspenseful, well-acted classic featuring another one of Dahl's trademark twists.

Vera Miles in Revenge.

3. Revenge - The very first episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents raised the bar very high. A distraught woman (Vera Miles) tells her husband she has been assaulted. When the police investigation goes nowhere, the couple seek their justice and go looking for the assailant. In a long-running series featuring a number of memorable twist endings, "Revenge" features perhaps the most potent one. Directed by Hitchcock.

4. The Glass Eye - Director Robert Stevens won an Emmy for this haunting tale of a middle-aged woman (Jessica Tandy) who falls in love from afar with a ventriloquist she has never met. After they begin exchanging letters, he agrees to meet her--with disastrous results. This beautifully written teleplay (by Stirling Silliphant) provided underused actor Tom Conway (George Sanders' brother) with his last good role. It's ultimately a very sad story of two lonely people.

Billy Mumy with loaded gun.

5. Bang! You're Dead - Hitchcock directed this wonderfully tense episode about a young boy (Billy Mumy) who mistakes a real gun for a toy pistol and spends the day playing with it. The worst part: the gun is loaded. Mumy's success as Will Robinson on Lost in Space has obscured his finest TV work, as in this episode and the "It's a Good Life" episode of The Twilight Zone.

Honorable Mentions:  Breakdown (a Hitch-directed episode with Joseph Cotten as a man paralyzed in his car), One More Mile to Go (a man with a corpse in his car trunk), and Victim Four (a Paul Henreid-directed episode about a woman whose bad headaches are really bad). It's interesting to note that both Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Twilight Zone featured adaptations of Ambrose Bierce's An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge. However, The Twilight Zone episode was actually a short French feature filmed two years before its broadcast on Twilight Zone.

The Five Best "Outer Limits" Episodes

Leslie Stevens and Joseph Stefano (who wrote the screenplay for Psycho) were the creative talents behind the best sci fi anthology of the 1960s (maybe of all time). The concept was that each show would stay within the confines of the science fiction genre and feature a “bear”—Stefano’s nickname for a scary monster. The scripts weren't as consistently strong as The Twilight Zone and the show’s budget often worked against some of the high-end concepts. But when The Outer Limits was good, it was very good. Without further adieu, we list our picks for the five best episodes.

Trent getting handy advice.

1. Demon with A Glass Hand - Trent (Robert Culp) is a man “born ten days ago” who has no previous memory and is being pursued throughout a huge deserted office building by alien beings that want to kill him. His actions are guided solely by his hand, which is made of glass with a tiny computer inside. The hand has two digits—the thumb and pinky—and talks to Trent. This fascinating episode penned by Harlan Ellison showcased The Outer Limits at its best: a brilliant concept, an offbeat setting, and a strong central performance.

2. The Architects of Fear - With the world facing annihilation from a nuclear war, a group of idealistic scientists decide to fake an alien invasion so warring factions will join against a greater enemy. In this way, they hope to achieve world peace. They draw lots and Dr. Allen Leighton (Robert Culp again) is selected to undergo surgeries that will transform him into an "alien being." Like any great science fiction story, The Architects of Fear balances social comment on the macro level with human drama on the micro level (in this case, the relationship between Leighton and his wife). The ending of the popular graphic novel Watchmen owes much to this classic Outer Limits episode.

A very memorable alien creature.

3. The Zanti Misfits - The imaginative premise has an army unit occupying a modern-day ghost town to ensure the safe arrival of an alien spacecraft carrying prisoners. No one is enthused about this mission--the Zantis threatened to declare war if their request to establish a penal colony on Earth was not granted. Although the army has secured the area, a low-life criminal (Bruce Dern) and his runaway wife (Olive Deering) break through the barricade. Their meddling ultimately leads to a memorable, all-out battle between the bug-like Zantis and the soldiers. A memorable exercise in visual horror, writer Joseph Stefano also makes a chilling statement about the nature of the human race.

Bee-ware of the new lab assistant!

4. Zzzzz - An entomologist studying bees needs a new lab assistant. A queen bee who can transform herself into human form needs a new mate. The entomologist is married. We now have a conflict. This entertaining episode benefits mightily from Joanna Frank, who scores as the exotic bee queen determined to get her way. This episode may lack the social significance of other better episodes--but it is sure is fun.

5. The Inheritors - An Army officer, Lieutenant Minns (Steven Ihnat), miraculously survives after being shot in the head by a bullet forged from a meteorite. He tracks down three other men who endured a similar experience. They began to build a spaceship while Minns recruits handicapped children for a special mission. What in the heck is going on? The Outer Limits' only two-part episode is a stellar one, unfolding as a mystery and ending in inspirational fashion. Ihnat, a good actor often relegated to supporting roles, is first-rate as Minns.

Honorable Mentions:  Soldier (also written by Harlan Ellison); The Sixth Finger (David McCallum becomes the man of the future); and It Crawled Out of the Woodwork.

What are your favorites?

The Five Best "Twilight Zone" Episodes

Trying to sift through all 156 episodes of The Twilight Zone and pick just the five best episodes is rather daunting. Plus, it opens one up to mass criticism because TZ fans are passionate about their favorite episodes. But this is the start of our annual "Five Best" month at the Cafe and we're ready to take the heat. Here are our picks for TZ's five best episodes (and some honorable mentions):

Billy Mumy as Anthony.

1. It's a Good Life - The residents of a small town live in fear of a young boy (Billy Mumy) with limitless powers who controls their day-to-day existence. Disagree with Anthony and you're liable to find yourself in "the cornfield" (a place you don't want to be!). Disturbing and even downbeat at its conclusion, It's a Good Life is the most chilling TZ episode--and, in my opinion, the best one. In Twilight Zone: The Movie, Joe Dante ruins the story with a happy ending.

John Carradine as Brother Jerome.

2. The Howling Man - While touring a post-World War I Europe, a young man named David seeks shelter from rural monks during a storm. At first, the monks refuse admittance but they relent when David passes out. Later that night, David hears a strange howling and finds an imprisoned man who claims the monks are holding him against his will. This atmospheric, eerie tale written by Charles Beaumont is a rare TZ excursion into straight horror. It works extremely well, right down to the hand on the door knob in the epilogue.

3. Nightmare at 20,000 Feet - A man recently recovered from a nervous breakdown looks out the window of his airplane seat and sees a gremlin trying to sabotage the wing. No one believes him, of course. William Shatner's tendency to overact works to his advantage in this clever tale of a man who must convince himself of his own sanity and then risk his future in order save his fellow passengers. This one was also adapted for Twilight Zone: The Movie with John Lithgow shining in the Shatner role.

One of the Kanamits (on
the right, that is).

4. To Serve Man - A witty story that builds up to the best punchline of any TZ episode. To say anymore would spoil it for viewers who haven't seen it.

5. Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up - Two troopers tracks what may be an alien to a snowbound diner inhabited a by a soda jerk, a bus driver, and his passengers. The catch is that six passengers got off the bus, but now there are seven. Which one is an alien? A great example of one of the lighthearted episodes, complete with a neat twist, this one always draws me in if I happen on it during one of those TZ marathons.

Honorable mentions:  Five Characters in Search of an Exit (the soldier, the ballerina, etc.); The Invaders (Agnes Moorehead protects her home); Time Enough to Last (Burgess Meredith and his spectacles); Night of the Meek (Santa Claus); The Eye of the Beholder (a young woman undergoes plastic surgery); In His Image (the best of the hour-long episodes).

Stage Fright: Hitchcock, Lovely Ducks, and a Controversial Flashback

Spoiler Alert:  The following review reveals the film's ending.

As the film that preceded Hitchcock's "comeback" classic Strangers on a Train, Stage Fright (1950) is typically glossed over in the famed director's filmography. While it's true that it doesn't rank with his masterpieces (e.g., Vertigo, Rear Window), Stage Fright has much to offer: a clever opening, a playful homage to acting, a pair of delightfully quirky supporting performances, and--of course--that infamous flashback.

The proceedings get off to a fast start when two people in a convertible exchange the following dialogue as the car whisks through the streets of London:

EVE: Any sign of the the police?

JONNY (looking over his shoulder): It looks like we're getting away with it.

EVE: Good.

Jonny enters the apartment--the start of
a memorable, single-take tracking shot.

It quickly becomes apparent that Jonny (Richard Todd) is in trouble and has turned to Eve (Jane Wyman) for help. When probed by Eve, he explains that his lover Charlotte Inwood (Marlene Dietrich), a famous stage actress, came to him after murdering her husband following a quarrel. Charlotte needs Jonny to destroy her bloodstained dress and fetch a new one from her flat. Jonny does more than that--he restages the crime scene but is spotted by a maid and transitions from accomplice to suspected murderer.

Eve, who believes she's in love with Jonny, deposits the wanted man with her oddball father (Alastair Sim). She also becomes determined to prove Jonny's innocence. After a chance meeting with Charlotte's dresser, Eve hatches a risky scheme to go undercover and collect the evidence that will clear Jonny.

The twist in Stage Fright is that Jonny is not Hitchcock's typical innocent-man-on-the-run. Indeed, Jonny murdered Charlotte's husband and everything he told Eve at the start of the film--shown to the viewer via a flashback--was a lie. This revelation slips out as Eve and Jonny hide from the police in an opulent theatre at the film's climax. In a matter of seconds, Jonny evolves from hero to villain.

Jonny reveals the truth in
the theater.

Much has been written about the "lying flashback," chiefly that it doesn't play fair with the audience--a view postulated by Francois Truffaut in his book of Hitchcock interviews. However, this contention assumes that everything we see in a film is the "truth" as presented by the filmmakers. Hitchcock makes it clear that we are hearing and seeing Jonny's version of the events. It's not dissimilar from the various versions of the truth recounted (also in flashback) by the different characters in Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon. The key difference is that Jonny is an actor and he casts himself in the role of the framed innocent man--a part he plays not only in the flashback, but also in his post-murder dealings with Eve.

Alastair Sim, as Eve's father, paying
off blackmailer Kay Walsh.

Acting and the theater are a recurring motif in many Hitchcock films:  Judy played the role of Madeleine in Vertigo; Uncle Charlie was just a character masking a serial murderer in Shadow of a Doubt; and the mini-plays in Rear Windows were framed by windows, an analogy to the confines of a theatrical stage. However, Stage Fright trumps them all in the number of characters playing parts. In addition to Jonny playing the innocent man, Eve assumes the roles of newspaper reporter and Charlotte's dresser. Since deception is acting, too, Eve's father gets in the act by lying about Jonny to Eve's mother. The theater motif is emphasized too strongly perhaps, with opening credits against a stage curtain and a backdrop that crushes Jonny at the climax.

One imagines that Hitchcock was drawn to the source material because it stands one of his favorite themes on its head. Quick, how many Hitchcock films can you name about men wrongly accused of a crime who set out to prove their innocence and/or stop the bad guys with the aid of a strong woman? It's dominated his career from Young and Innocent to The 39 Steps to Saboteur, North By Northwest, and others. But in Stage Fright, the innocent man really is a killer--a point that must have amused Hitchcock.

Marlene singing: "My poor heart is
aching to bring home the bacon..."

In Truffaut's interview with Hitchcock, the Master of Suspense maintains that the two great flaws in Stage Fright are that the villain is weak and the characters are never in any tangible danger. I disagree with the villain being weak--when Jonny finally reveals his true self to Eve, he becomes an acceptable villain. I maintain that the problems are that: (1) Jonny is a minor character who disappears from the film for long stretches; (2) since Jonny is role-playing a good guy, there is no villain until the climax. And, as a standard mystery, Stage Fright puts forth few legitimate suspects: Charlotte, Jonny, Charlotte's manager, or the dresser Nellie (with the latter two in very little of the picture).

Joan Grenfell promoting the chance to
to shoot "lovely ducks."

While the principals in Stage Fright carry the load admirably (especially a charming Michael Wilding), two marvelous character actors almost steal it. Alastair Sim injects the film with some much-needed dry humor ("What sort of father are you?" asks a police inspector. The reply: "Unique.") Yet, even he is upstaged in a delightful scene with Joyce Grenfell manning a fund-raising booth for an orphanage at a garden party ("Half a crown to shoot a lovely duck!)". These two veteran British comedians play off each other brilliantly, providing the perfect levity for the classic Hitchcock scene that follows them: a young child carrying a bloodied doll through the crowd as Charlotte performs on a stage.

While the entertainment value is high in most Hitchcock films, I have a soft spot for the lighthearted ones that seem to show the director in a playful mood (this one, To Catch a Thief, and I'm slowly turning the corner on The Trouble With Harry). That's one of the reasons why I find Stage Fright methodically moving up my list of favorite Hitchcock films with each viewing.

Michele Monro Talks with the Cafe about "The Singer's Singer: The Life and Music of Matt Monro" (Part 2)

Freddie Garrity, Matt Monro, and
Dusty Springfield.

This is the second part of our interview with Michele Monro, daughter of British singer Matt Monro. Michele sat down recently to chat with the Cafe about her new biography of her father, who recorded classic hits likes "My Kind of Girl" and sang on the soundtracks to films like Born Free and From Russia With Love.

Cafe:  Matt Monro obviously enjoyed his only major acting role in George Montgomery's film Satan's Harvest. What other film roles was he offered?

An adventure film
co-starring Matt Monro.

Michele:  George Montgomery persuaded Matt to take his first film role giving him license to pick any role he wanted. The singer chose a character that had four or five lines but without Matt’s knowledge George completely re-wrote the role so that his friend would have a much meatier part. Matt loved the camaraderie on the shoot; the South African locations were stunning and he was eager to repeat the experience. George immediately asked Matt to take on a Western role the following year, which was to be shot in the Philippines. Sadly the country suffered from civil unrest and the movie was put on hold. In the meantime Matt was besieged with parts, one in Carry on Henry VIII which he couldn’t envision himself doing and countless offers for singing bus driver roles. They didn’t appeal. Sadly Matt never got the opportunity of making another movie.

Cafe:  One of our favorite Matt Monro albums is These Years. But Matt wasn't pleased with most of his hastily-produced U.S. albums with Capitol, was he?

Michele:  All but one of the tracks on These Years were recorded in a single day. The album was thrown together without the care that was taken in Matt’s English recordings. The process was rushed and Matt was forced into singing over backing tracks for a lot of the songs. Recording five albums over a six-month period is exhausting by anyone’s standards. Capitol insisted that albums were a big market in the States, but it just seemed to Matt that the record company was rushing headlong into projects without much thought.  As far as he was concerned, the English way might have been slower but it was more professional and the end product proved the worth of spending the extra time on an album. The mindset was completely different in America--they felt that if an album took two days rather than one, they were losing money.

Cafe:  Bee Gee Maurice Gibb played a key part in getting your father to  enter rehab for alcoholism. You wrote that your father never had another  drink. Did he stay in touch with Maurice Gibb?

Michele:  My father was extremely strong-minded and once he put his mind to something, that was that. He was lucky that he could apply that same mental process after leaving the rehabilitation clinic. Not only did he never touch alcohol again but he never needed the support of an AA group either. Maurice became dad’s sponsor and was instrumental in getting the singer to face his demons. Their friendship carried on but like all show business friendships, hook-ups were difficult as they were reliant on the performers being in the same city at the same time and that didn’t happen very often. But out of sight didn’t mean out of mind and they spoke to each other often over the years. Indeed, Maurice Gibbs gave this quote: "The inimitable vocal style of Matt Monro will never be forgotten. My memories of Matt will remain with me always. Not only a wonderful voice, but a wonderful man."

Cafe:  What was Matt's favorite recording? What's your  favorite?

My father always used to sing "My Funny Valentine" when my mum was in the audience. It was their song and it was a tragedy that he never came to record it--or that is what I thought. A chance remark from a fan in  Hong Kong led me to contact Mood Media asking if they held any Matt Monro tracks in their archives.  A list arrived of thirteen tracks. On that list was "My Funny Valentine." The date the email came was 14 February 2011!

Draft cover from the upcoming album.

It took another eleven months until I actually got listening copies of those thirteen recordings; it was one of the most frustrating periods in my life. Even though I told the company it was a possibility that I would include the tracks on the new release Matt Uncovered: The Rarer Monro, which is due out on 28 July 2012, they couldn’t be hurried as they were in the middle of transferring their archives to digital media and Dad’s tracks were among thousands of tapes that were in line for treatment.  When I finally received the disc, I wept when I heard them, for every one of those songs was pristine and even though there were a couple on the list that Dad had recorded later in his career, they turned out to be completely different arrangements. I couldn’t believe that they were nearly sixty years old. They sounded as if they had been recorded yesterday and it was a wondrously exciting moment. As I listened to each track on the disc, I was in awe of the perfection of each performance and as the tune came to an end I held my breath in hope that the next in the play list would be as good. Each of these unexpected gifts were as wonderful as the last but I have to say that "My Funny Valentine" would have been enough. I feel that the other twelve were an extra bonus. This is the sort of thing that doesn't happen every day and it makes the new album even more special in that I am able to share it with the fans. I can’t think of anything more tragic had they been left undiscovered, just a list within someone’s computer document.

The one song that does hold a special place in my heart is "Michelle." Dad had arranged for me to go to the studios with him. It was my first time and I was hugely excited. I had no idea what he was recording but at the given time George Martin tapped his baton to gain silence from the orchestra, my dad held my hand and started singing to me. It was actually that rendition that was cut and pressed. Moments like that stay with you throughout your life.

Cafe:  Your 788-page biography is exceedingly well-researched and thorough. What inspired you to write it and how long did it take?

Michele:  This book was really a labour of love and was written for my son Max. I suffered a near-fatal car crash a few years ago and it struck me that if anything happened to me, my son wouldn't know anything more about his grandfather other than he was a great singer. It upset me that he wouldn't know his origin or roots or what Matt Monro had contributed to the music business so as soon as I was able I started the process. It took three years to do the research and interview more than 200 people. A further year was spent actually writing the book and a further year with publisher re-writes and edits.

Black & white photo is from The Singer’s Singer: The Life and Music of Matt Monro © 2012 Michele Monro. Titan Books provided a review copy to the Classic Film & TV Cafe.

Michele Monro Talks with the Cafe about "The Singer's Singer: The Life and Music of Matt Monro"

Michele Monro, daughter of British singer Matt Monro, sat down recently to chat with the Cafe about her new biography of her father. Famous for 1960s hit records such as "Portrait of My Love" and "My Kind of Girl," Matt Monro was also widely known for singing on the soundtracks to films like Born Free, From Russia With Love, and The Quiller Memorandum.

Cafe:  Your father was born Terence Edward Parsons  How did Terry Parsons come to be known as Matt Monro?

Michele Monro:  Less than six weeks after signing his recording contract, Terry was booked in at the studios to cut his debut album Blue and Sentimental with The Malcolm Lockyer Orchestra.  Decca Records soon decided Terence Edward Parsons needed a different name for his recording career and it took a matter of minutes to choose. ‘Matt’, taken from Matt White, an Australian Fleet Street journalist who worked for the Daily Sketch at the time and had written a centre-page spread of adulation about the singing bus driver, and ‘Monro’, from pianist Winnie Atwell’s father, Monro Atwell. Matt Monro was born. In later years, Matt’s name was legally changed, but the constant misspelling came to irk him; it was either spelled Munro, Monroe or even Munrowe, sometimes as many as three different ways within the same article.

Cafe:  Most film fans remember Don Black as the lyricist of classic  movie songs like "Born Free" and "Diamonds Are Forever." What  different job did he perform for Matt Monro?

Michele:  Don Black met Matt Monro while working as a music plugger in Tin Pan Alley and they immediately became firm friends. Matt encouraged his friend to write at every opportunity and even recorded a plethora of the budding lyricist’s songs in order to give him a boost. When Matt hit it big with "Portrait of My Love," he asked Don to leave his job and come on board as his manager. It was a successful relationship and the job role gave Don ample opportunity to continue writing.

Cafe:  What role did Peter Sellers and producer George Martin (of  Beatles fame) play in Matt's career?

Matt Monro in concert.

Michele:  In autumn 1959, George Martin rang Matt’s wife  Mickie and told her about a small job he had which would require the singer to record a take-off of Frank Sinatra. A song had been written for the opening track on the second Peter Sellers album he was working on and the intention was that Sellers should sing it with a voice as near as possible to Sinatra’s. Although Peter couldn’t sing terribly well, it was thought he could use his great powers of mimicry so that it would actually sound like someone doing an impression of Sinatra, adding comic significance to the title of the LP, Songs for Swingin’ Sellers. However, Sellers was doubtful that he could pull off the task, admitting that he could manage ordinary impressions but not vocal ones. Although he wanted to phrase it like Sinatra would, he didn’t know how to achieve the effect. George’s solution was to look for someone who had a voice like Sinatra--he didn’t want an impression but to hear it sung the way that Sinatra might sing it.

Matt did the job and he did it well and upon hearing the recording, Sellers--a master of impersonation--admitted he could never approach Sinatra’s style so accurately or do such justice to the song. He thought the test number was great and suggested they use Matt’s version as the opening track on the album under the guise of a pseudonym – Fred Flange. Released at the end of 1959 with the memorable album cover featuring a body hanging from a tree, it caused something of a furor in professional circles. Parlophone Records was besieged with phone calls and letters, with record buyers and press wanting to know who the mystery singer was. Once the true identity of the impersonator got out, the industry tabloids were awash with admiration and offers to give Monro work flooded in.

Cafe:  Matt met a dozens of other big stars during his frequent television  appearances on television series like The Ed Sullivan Show. Who were some  of his favorite singers?

Tom Jones and Matt Monro.

Michele:  Matt adored working with his mentor Winnie Atwell. She had a certain  funk going on that he loved and of course Tony Bennett and Sammy Davis ranked highly on his list. He loved them as people and to him that was important because they gave their music heart and soul. He would have given his right arm towork with Sinatra, but something always conspired to get in the way. He actually had the opportunity of  signing with Reprise and he would have jumped at the chance had it not been for his advisors. They read more into it that just an innocent  offer--had my father signed with the company they could in fact have prevented him from recording at all. Some thought they wanted this so Sinatra had no competition--but like so many rumors--they were without substance.

Cafe:  The Oscar-winning song "Born Free"--written by John  Barry & Don Black and sung by Matt-- was cut from the movie at one point. What's the story behind that?

Michele:  Matt’s first single for Capitol was one of the songs he will forever be associated with. Producer Carl Foreman had partnered with Columbia to film Born Free, a simple tale about lions in captivity and John Barry and Don Black were chosen to compose the music

Foreman disliked the finished song immensely, feeling the lyrics should centre around and encompass the lions themselves. However, Barry somehow persuaded the producer to stick with his vision. It should have gone smoothly from then on, but Foreman kept changing his mind on whether the film should even have a title song and thought Don’s lyrics were too much of a social comment.  Barry and Black fought for their corner vigorously and thought they had won the battle with the producer, but they were in for an unpleasant surprise.

Matt attended the Royal première of Born Free at London’s Odeon Leicester Square and it wasn’t long before Don received an anguished call from the singer telling him they’d cut the song from the final cut of the movie.  Carl Foreman had approached Matt in the lobby after the film’s closing credits and apologised for the omission. He explained that they’d dropped the first reel of the movie and fractured the film so the soundtrack couldn't be used. But the truth was that he thought it was in the film’s best interest to drop the song and he’d gone back into the cutting room and re-edited the film, removing the song and replacing it with an orchestral version for the opening.

The trio were apoplectic, but Foreman was adamant that his decision wouldn’t be reversed. However, as it transpired "Born Free" had rocketed up the American charts and the Roger Williams orchestral version, complete with backing choir, was now sitting in the number one position. Carl Foreman couldn’t justify his decision any longer--he had to reverse it. For a song to be eligible for an Academy Award, it had to be featured in every print of the film. The heads of Columbia, the publishers, Screen Gems and the producers all clamoured to reclaim every piece of celluloid that had been distributed, so as to put the song back in, spending vast sums of money on an Oscar campaign to promote the new version. In 1966, both the song "Born Free" and John Barry’s score won Academy Awards.

Part 2 of this interview will be published on Wednesday.

Black & white photos are from The Singer’s Singer: The Life and Music of Matt Monro © 2012 Michele Monro. Titan Books provided a review copy to the Classic Film & TV Cafe.