Sunday, April 18, 2010

This Week's Poll: Who would you hire to clean up a rowdy Western town?

You've just been elected the mayor of South Bend, Texas--of course, no one ran against you. Why? Well, no one else wanted to be mayor of the rowdiest town west of the Mississippi! The bank is robbed every day. The stagecoach doesn't stop in South Bend anymore. The sheriff and his deputy joined Pike Magee's gang of cattle rustlers because the life insurance was better.

You've convinced what's left of the good townsfolk to contribute to a fund to hire a lawman to clean up the town and restore order. Who are you going to hire?  A federal marshal, a retired sheriff, a reformed gunfighter? Here are your nominees:

Will Kane (Gary Cooper, High Noon) - He has the experience and did more for the town of Hadleyville than it deserved. However, it might be hard to convince his wife Amy, who normally doesn't condone violence.

Shane (Alan Ladd) - He's quiet, but there's no doubt that he can shoot "a little bit." Only question is whether he's still available after the big gunfight with Riker and Wilson.

Paladin (Richard Boone, Have Gun--Will Travel) - He's expensive, but looks very imposing in that all-black outfit. Tries to reason with the baddies first, so there might be less bloodshed.

Clay Blaisdell (Henry Fonda, Warlock) - Blaisdell has the perfect experience, having been hired by the town of Warlock to clean it up. Only problem is that he and his crony tend to overstay their welcome.

The Stranger (Clint Eastwood, High Plains Drifter) - Experience is similar to Blaisdell's, but may have ulterior motives and appears to vanish as he rides away.

Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne, True Grit) - Sturdier than he looks, comes cheap, and gets the job done. But beware of his interest in bad sequels.

Wyatt Earp (Burt Lancaster, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral) - A potentially smart deal, because when you hire Wyatt, you apparently get his brothers and Doc Holliday, too.

There are plenty more lawmen and gunfighters who could handle this job, so please leave a comment if think a viable applicant was omitted. If you want to vote for one of the seven nominees above, cast your ballot in the green sidebar on the right.


  1. Rick, this is a fun poll. My favorite choice is Paladin but I am concerned about the enormity of the job. I like the package deal of Wyatt Earp and his brothers and Doc Holliday. I will give this some thought and vote later. Clever idea!

  2. I'd have to take Will Kane--Quaker wife or not.

  3. What? Don Knotts from "The Shakiest Gun in the West" is not on this list?

  4. Excellent choices. I picked Paladin because I think he's the most trustworthy. The Man With No Name would do an excellent job, but I'm concerned about those potential "ulterior motives." He'd look so cool cleaning up the town, but what if he's just doing it so he can help one of the bad guys escape so that he can do it all over again in another town, all for the reward money? Hey, it happens...

  5. Toto, I agree that it might be a job for more than one guy. But, like Sark, I went with Paladin because he's trustworthy and has that cool holster with the chess the hidden derringer. Tom, would Barbara Rhoades come with Don Knotts? That's be cool...not because she's pretty, of course, but because she's the one who could handle a six-shooter.

  6. Gee, I can't pick Henry Fonda as Frank from Once Upon A Time In The West? Or Chris and Vin? Guess I'll have to go with the Man with No Name. Who knows...maybe Lee Van Cleef will show up too!

  7. I voted for, Will Kane. He is brave and stays to fight his battles. Even though he maybe a little bit of a clock watcher.

  8. I have to second the motion for Randolph Scott...or else James Garner's Sheriff Jason McCullough from SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF!

    Best wishes,

  9. Panavia999 and Laura, you are so right--Randolph Scott should been included, too! But which Randolph Scott character should it have been? James Garner would have been fun, too.

  10. Paul, Henry Fonda as Frank was just too mean in ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST. I'd be scared he might dispose of me along wuth the bad guys.

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